CHAPTER THREE
ADAIR

“Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?” The officiant asks Griffin, my younger brother. I’m two years older than him and he’s found his happiness long before I’ll ever find mine. 

That’s not true.

I already know where mine lies and I screwed it up a long time ago.

Griffin’s shaking like a leaf as he takes London’s hand in his. He performs on stage in front of thousands of people, more days out of the year than not, and even with that being the case it still looks like his nerves might get the best of him right here, inside this small chapel, just outside Colorado Springs. “I do.” His voice quivers as he strains to say it loud enough for everyone to hear. “I absolutely do.” I’m guessing his jaw is doing that thing it always does when he’s nervous. It’s like he’s flexing his jaw pecs, or something.

It’s weird.

But I honestly have no idea if he’s doing it right now or not, because all I can see is the pair of beautiful bright green eyes right across the aisle from me.

It’s not my fault.

I’m doing my duty as one of Griffin’s groomsmen and keeping my focus straight ahead, which means I’m staring at London’s bridal party.

Well… just Carly.

I can’t see anyone else but her and that form fitting gold lace dress she’s wearing. I can’t say that the attention is being returned though. Her eyes have been focused on the ceremony, and nothing else. It shouldn’t make my stomach knot up, but here we are. I’m just a lovesick fool with zero chance of ever holding her the way Griffin just pulled London in for their celebratory kiss.

Oh!

I almost missed the moment. Instead of actually joining in the cheers, I miss my hand and slap my forearm with the palm of my other hand.  Whatever. At least it still sounded like I was clapping as the newlyweds turned around to face the small crowd of family and very close friends. Not embarrassing at all.

Nash, the Best Man, takes the lead and Casey’s hand to follow Griffin and London back down the aisle and out the doors, which means…

“Adair,” Carly whispers with a curt nod as she reaches to link her arm through my elbow. “Let’s get this over with.”

I exhale a deep breath and try not to break the façade that I’m completely disinterested. “Is it that bad having to walk back with me?”

She bobs her head back and forth. “It’s not great.”

“Dude,” Travis whispers, he’s walking with Ainsley who happens to also be Carly’s best friend.

“Not. Now.”

“But—”

“Shh.” I shake my head and smash my lips together to keep from yelling at him and potentially ruining our brother’s big day.

A finger slowly taps me on the shoulder. Creepy. Nope. I refuse to acknowledge him.

Carly lets out a soft giggle that makes me melt into a puddle right at her feet. If she only knew. “Aren’t you going to see what he wants?”

“No,” I shake my head. “I am definitely not going to do that.”

She nods, signaling she hasn’t forgotten exactly how random Travis can be. There’s one rule in our family. Okay, probably more than one; but this is the important one, never under any circumstances ask Travis what he wants during a delicate time. He will absolutely, without a single doubt, make it as awkward as possible without even trying. Since he wants to get even with me for the toothpaste Oreos last night, I’m not taking any chances.

“Fine.” He clears his throat.

Oh no.

“Maybe,” he says way louder than necessary, since we’re only walking about a foot in front of them, “she thinks it’s terrible because you still love each other.”

And there it is.

Carly’s grip on my elbow immediately loosens, then she clearly realizes we’re still being watched by about one hundred pairs of eyes because she slides her arm back into position so we can finish this wedding party out with at least a small shred of our dignity left intact. “Travis,” she groans.

“I’m going to kill you,” I growl under my breath.

He gulps with a squeak. He is the biggest pain in the—

“Finally,” Carly says, jerking her arm out of mine as soon as we’re through the doors and safely out of view. “That was absolutely the worst. The things I do for London and Griffin,” she says while my heart shatters into a thousand tiny crumbs drifting lifelessly to the floor.

“It wasn’t that bad.” Somehow, I think, that pathetic attempt to convince her is going to change the entire trajectory of this conversation. I can’t help myself. When I fall into a hole, I just keep digging deeper instead of doing what any sane person would do like trying to find a way out. I just burrow on in and make it my home. That’s what happened twelve years ago, and here I am… still digging. I might as well hop on an excavator and make quick work of it.

She whirls around on her spiked heel motioning for Ainsley to follow her. “You’re right,” she says through a half-hearted smile. “It could’ve been worse.” The two women whisper and link arms as they push through the chapel’s exit doors headed toward the garden, which has been transformed into a reception area.

“Travis,” I groan, dragging my hands down my face. I can practically feel my skin stretching as I do, I imagine myself looking like one of those cartoon dogs with the droopy faces.

He holds both hands up in surrender. “I was just screwing around. I didn’t mean to make her bolt.”

“I know.” Despite all his skill in the make-things-awkward department, he’s got a good heart. “I don’t need any help making her hate me, though. I think I’ve done a pretty thorough job of that myself.”

He nods and takes out his phone. “Things change, though.”

Not this time. “If it was going to change, it would’ve done it about a dozen years ago.”

“Are you sure about that?” He asks with a smirk creeping across his face, and we’re already back to him being my annoying little brother. His stint as the voice of reason was short lived. “Hate is just the alter ego of love.”

“It’s finally happened.”

“What has?”

“You’ve lost your mind.”

“Don’t you watch any reality television?” His voice raises at least an octave from the shock. “Whenever there’s tension between a couple, especially the intense bordering on I-hate-your-guts tension, they always end up admitting they love each other before the season finale. You just need to figure out how to get to your season finale, bro.”

“Great.” I give him a deadpan stare. “I’m not taking my relationship advice from you, Mister perpetually single, or reality TV. Thanks, but no thanks. Besides, I’ve pushed her away for a reason.”

He rolls his eyes. “Right, the curse that is Adair Miller.” He waves his hand and makes a woo-ooh noise like a Dollar Store version of a Halloween ghost. “You’re not a curse. You’re just an idiot.”

What the—? “Coming from the village idiot. Thank you very much for the pep talk, but we’re done here. I’m going to the reception before I punch you in the face.”

“See?” He shrieks. “You love me. I’m your brother, so I know you love me, but you still want to punch me sometimes. That’s pretty much how Carly feels.

Devon, the head of our security and head usher for the wedding, slings one arm around Travis’s shoulders and cringes. “Except for the brother thing. That’s just creepy, man.” He lets out a deep belly laugh before following the rest of the bridal party through the door to the reception.

“Okay. I’m going, now.” I take a deep breath and steel myself before I go through the doors. I’ve gotten through twelve years of this. I can get through one more day.

---

“Attention,” Nash clinks his gold-plated spoon against his champagne glass, “As the Best Man, I’d like to take just a few moments to say a few words about our favorite newlyweds.”

The buzz of the crowd slowly comes to a halt as they each turn their attention to our oldest brother. “Why does everyone always pay attention to him?” Travis whines.

I pretend to scan the crowd while ignoring Travis and his little pout-fest, but my focus is completely locked onto Carly. She’s sitting beside Casey, London’s Maid of Honor at the bridal table. I should probably be up there next to Griffin and Nash, but I’m staying as far away from my heartache incarnate as possible.

“Dude, why don’t you get up there?”

If I did join them, I might say something I can never take back. “Why don’t you go up there?”

“Shh,” he says with a scowl. “Nash is talking.”

The crowd lets out a collective burst of laughter mixed with a few claps and cheers. I have no idea what he said, but it must’ve been good. I raise my glass to signal my approval. That’s about all I’ve got in me at this point.

“Now, a toast.” he raises his glass and motions for the crowd to join him. “What happens when a stubborn Cinderella and her young prince meet a lovesick rockstar?” He smiles and winks to the crowd. Always the showman.

“Oh!” Travis bolts to the microphone and snatches it away from Nash. “I almost forgot,” he chuckles as he pulls a wrapped gift from underneath his chair at the table. “When we stopped off in Vegas, I got a little distracted—”

“And made us twelve hours late because we missed our flight,” Nash pipes in leaning over Travis’s shoulder to make sure the mic picks it up.

Travis grimaces as he slaps his hand in Nash’s direction to get him away from the mic. “Yeah, and that. But I also had this made for you.” He hands the gift to Griffin. “In a world of happy-never-afters, some people are just meant to be. So, there was this guy—”

Nash interrupts him again, “A street performer.”

“Yes. A street performer, who can actually see someone’s soulmate after meeting them.” He nods toward the gift. “Griffin, your soul mate is in there.”

London gives Griffin a sideways glance as he pops the wrapping paper off and reveals a gold picture frame. He holds it up and shows it to the crowd. A collective Ooh-and-ahh erupts from the crowd as we all see a perfectly hand-drawn illustration of London framed in gold.

Nash takes the mic back from Travis with a smirk on his face. “As I was saying, what do you get when you introduce a stubborn Cinderella to a lovesick rockstar? The perfect family.” He lifts his glass and signals the crowd to do the same. “May you have a life full of happiness and adventures together. Welcome, officially, to the family London and Carter.”

Stupid Nash. I sniff and turn my back to the crowd to let the tears dry up before anyone notices.

There’s a light tap on my shoulder. I sniff hard to get rid of any evidence and turn to see a pair of very familiar bright green eyes staring back into mine. “That was some speech, huh?”

“Uh-huh.” I don’t have words in me right now.

She bites her lip. A nervous habit she’s had ever since we were in middle school together. She’s not sure she wants to say what’s about to come out of her mouth.

I hold my breath…

“I think we’re supposed to dance.” Her face turns a soft shade of red. “I wouldn’t have said anything, but…” She tilts her thumb toward the dance floor, where Griffin and London are being joined on the floor by Nash who is leading Casey to the floor and Travis who is paired with Ainsley. “It’ll be weird if we don’t,” she says in almost a whisper.

I swallow the giant lump in my throat, extending my hand. “It would be my honor.” I want to believe I saw a hint of a smile when my lips brushed the soft skin on the back of her hand. The scent of her perfume brings back memories of our lifetime together. This is the woman who knows all my flaws, every secret I have, except maybe one, and I still can’t bring myself to tell her how I feel.

I am epically screwed up.

She twirls under my arm as I lead her onto the dance floor. Graceful, elegant, and confident.

That’s Carly.

My hand rests on her hip as I tug her closer to me, selfishly wanting to indulge in her presence, her scent, the warmth of her body pressed tight against me… it’s a feeling I may never have again, so I want to enjoy it for all I can. “I’m sorry about Travis,” I say to break the silence.

She shrugs. “I’m used to him by now.”

“But you still don’t deserve to be embarrassed by him like that.”

The worry on her face eases into a soft smile. “I wasn’t embarrassed.”

“You weren’t?”

She shakes her head.

“Why were you so mad then?”

She snickers, our bodies swaying in sync to the rhythm of the music. “Let’s just dance.”

And this is why we will never be any further than we are right now. She’s a mystery and I am clueless. “Okay. I…”

“Yes?”

“You went back to your natural hair color,” I say, letting my fingers intertwine in her long strawberry blonde hair. “It looks beautiful on you.”

“Thanks,” she says, laying her head on my shoulder. Her soft and steady breath on my neck is almost more than I can take. It’s paralyzing. Can I just block out the entire world and stay wrapped up in this exact moment for the rest of my life? I let my lips graze against the soft skin of her cheek. She turns just enough. I don’t hesitate, letting myself taste her honey flavored lip gloss. The kiss I’ve waited for, for my entire life. I force myself to pull back, so I don’t move to fast and give the crowd a show they weren’t expecting today.

I already miss the feeling of her soft full lips against mine.

She nestles back into my shoulder, letting my head rest on top of hers. She fits perfectly in my arms, like we were made for each other. “Just so you know, I think your parents would be extremely proud of the men you’ve all grown into—even Travis.” A smile tugs at her lips as she slowly leans back looking up at me with a glimmer of something I haven’t seen in her eyes since before the accident.

“Thank you.” I swallow hard, choking on my thoughts of trying to revive what we once had.

This is stupid.

The music slowly fades as the DJ starts the next tune.

This is a mistake.

I loosen my grip around her waist, letting her go. “And thank you for the dance.” My feet move as fast as they can to get me off that dance floor, out of the garden, and away from Carly Thompson.

I can’t let myself hurt her more than I already have.