CHAPTER TWELVE
CARLY

“Hi, Alexei,” I wave to him as I make my way toward the elevator. “I have a friend coming over in just a few minutes. His name is Ridge. Can you add him to the approved guest list?”

He nods with a slight smile. “Of course, Miss Carly.”

“What’s that look for?”

“Look?” He feigns ignorance. “I do not understand what you mean.”

“Uh-huh.” I lean against the desk, which he’s currently standing behind. “Spill.”

“Come.” His hand extends out in front of him gesturing toward the conversation area in the lobby. “Sit.”

I do as he requests. He’s become someone I consider a friend in the few months I’ve lived her. A much-needed voice of reason when things get messy. “What is it?”

“Your eyes, my dear.” He says soft enough no one else passing through the lobby area can hear our conversation, but with a firmness in his tone that makes me sit up and take notice.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

His gaze shifts toward the door where Ridge has just walked in. He’s looking around for someone to buzz him through but hasn’t seen us yet. “This is your friend?”

I nod. For some reason, I’m almost embarrassed to admit he’s here to see me.

“Your eyes are different tonight.”

“Different? As compared to?”

He ignores my question and makes his way back to his station, leaving me confused and pondering what he just said while I watch Ridge interacting with him at the desk. Alexei nods in my direction and says something I can’t hear from where I’m still sitting. I guess that’s my cue… I push myself up off the sofa and drag myself over to where Ridge is waiting with a smile on his face. No matter how hard I try in this moment, I just can’t match his seeming happiness to see me even if I’ve never wanted to do something more. Why can’t I just let go? “I think I get what you meant,” I tell Alexei as I finally reach out taking the hand Ridge is extending toward me. “Come on.” I lead him to the elevator and let the doors slide closed in front of us. He leans in close enough I can feel his breath on my skin. Shouldn’t I want to close the distance between us? I don’t. I clear my throat and scoot a couple inches further away pretending to be oblivious to his efforts. “So, this is me,” I say, stepping off the elevator and heading toward my door.

He follows without saying a word, which makes me feel even worse for blowing him off. “I know it’s been a long day for you, so I won’t stay too long.”

He’s right about that. It’s been a long week for that matter.

“I just wanted to give you something,” he continues, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a sealed envelope. “Don’t open it until I leave. I don’t want you to feel any pressure, but I thought you should know that I’m going back to New York at the end of next week.”

“You’re leaving?”

He nods, scanning the walls of my apartment. His gaze lingers on the images surrounding my desk in the corner. “I am. I still have a contract to honor.”

“Right.” I almost forgot he wasn’t Amaryllis family. “It’s just that you’ve been with us for so long, I kind of forgot you were team Machine.”

He scoffs and stuffs his hands in his pockets. “I wouldn’t say that. I just don’t have a lot of options. Something tells me Amaryllis wouldn’t offer me a gig if I wanted to leave anyway.”

“Griffin is much more levelheaded than Adair, just saying.”

“That’s true.” He smiles, taking a step towards the door. “I just don’t think I want to be on the Amaryllis train anymore. The other day wasn’t a one-off. It was more of a culmination of the tension that’s been boiling under the surface for a while now.”

I had always known Adair had a chip on his shoulder where Ridge was concerned, but I honestly thought the other day was a once in a lifetime kind of outburst from him. “He’s done that before?”

Ridge shakes his head, letting his eyes go back to focusing on the band images in my office area. “No. It’s been under the surface, but I don’t think I can keep working with the guy after that.”

“I understand.” I give him a half-hearted smile. “I’ll miss you.”

He leans down leaving a soft kiss on my cheek. “Just open that after I leave. Okay?”

The door closes behind him, leaving me with a feeling of emptiness. It’s not emptiness because he’s going back to New York. It’s an emptiness inside of me because I don’t feel what I should. I’m not sad he’s leaving. I’m nothing when I think about him and that’s not fair. The envelope feels heavy in my hands despite the fact that it can’t weigh any more than a couple of ounces. I don’t think I can deal with opening it right now, so I leave it on my coffee table as I reach for my phone, which is currently buzzing across the tabletop. Unread messages in group chat. I tap the coffee maker to start a single brew while I scroll through the randomness on my screen.

Travis: Where are you all?

Adair: I’m literally upstairs. What is wrong with you?

Travis: We live in the same house and I never see you. That’s hurtful.

Adair: *crying emoji*

Travis: What are you up to?

Adair: Dude…

I hate to admit it, but their bickering makes me smile. It’s something I’ve grown accustomed to and it makes me miss growing up with Stone, before he turned into someone I don’t even know anymore. I decide to answer Travis with an image instead of words, since they don’t exactly come easy right now.

Carly: *Image uploading*

Travis: Is that popcorn? Don’t tell me your Netflix and chilling.

Carly: I’m Netflix and relaxing. No chilling.

Adair: No Ridge?

Carly: I’m not answering that.

Travis: Smooth, bro. Very smooth. NOT!

Adair: Is that the snowman coffee mug?

Carly: Don’t you dare make fun of my pudgy snowman coffee mug.

Adair: I wouldn’t! I got it for you.

The memories from that weekend, being snowed in at the lodge with Adair and the rest of Amaryllis flood back to me. We spent the entire weekend unplugged from the world. That was when I really thought he was going to change. Somehow, we’d find our way out of the pain he was in after his parents’ accident and we’d end up turning onto a new road—together.

That didn’t happen, though.

Five years later and we’re still in the same place we were then.

We’ll never move past it until he stops being afraid to let go of what hurt him—it wasn’t his fault even though he believes it was. He uploads an image to the chat, and I can hardly believe my eyes.

Travis: What did you do?

Adair: Refused to stay stuck in a moment any longer than I already have been. It’s time for a fresh start.

I go to respond, but the sleep takes over before I can even finish typing a sentence.

A fresh start…