CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CARLY

The sounds of airplanes coming and going from the runway make it difficult to hear my own thoughts right now. It’s a welcome problem. A large commercial jet is lowering itself onto the landing strip now, much larger than The Machine’s private jet. Change is the only thing that’s constant. I read that somewhere and I kind of stuck with me. A smile spreads across my lips as I think about how good it feels to be free of their demands. The feeling quickly shifts to sadness as I think about what that means for me and Adair.

“Excuse me, sir.” A man’s voice calls out from behind me. “You can’t just—”

“I have a ticket,” a familiar deep voice responds and my heart leaps in my chest at the same time butterflies take flight in the pit of my stomach. “Here.” Adair fishes around in his jacket pocket and pulls out a thin piece of paper, handing it to the attendant. “I’m supposed to be here.”

“I’m sorry, sir.” He takes the ticket and scans it into his computer system. “Welcome to Tulsa Air.”

Adair scoffs and throws his bag back over his shoulder as he finally looks away from the man who is just trying to do his job but has clearly pushed Adair’s buttons. I can’t help but laugh from where I’m standing by the windows. “There you are,” he says, jogging over to me. “I hope you don’t mind, but I had them upgrade your ticket to business class.”

“I was just fine with coach.”

Adair shakes his head. “The food is terrible.”

I shrug. “I wasn’t planning on eating on the plane anyway.”

“You? Not eating? While you’re stressing out? That doesn’t happen.”

Why does he have to know every-stupid-thing about me? Wait. “You really have been paying attention, haven’t you?”

“I tried to tell you,” he smirks, readjusting his overnight bag thrown over his shoulder.

“What are you doing here, Adair?”

His eyes are darker than normal. It’s hard to look away. “I thought you could use a friend today,” he says.

A friend. Here we go again. “We’re not sharing a room. You snore.”

“And you don’t?” he snickers. “Don’t forget talking in your sleep too. No thank you. I’ll have my own room so I can actually sleep, thank you very much.”

I’m not sure I want his company on this trip.

I’m not sure I don’t.

“Fine,” I concede. “Then we’re agreed. This will be a great time. Just two friends going to see another one getting sentenced to life in prison.” Groan.

His arm wraps around my shoulders as he tucks me into his chest. “Maybe it won’t be that bad. He’s been doing a lot of work lately. The judge might be lenient.”

Maybe. “I might question his judgment if he is lenient.”

Adair lets out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry you’re going through this, but I’m here for you if you need me.”I’ve always needed you. That’s the problem.

---

“I can’t believe I slept through the entire flight,” I say, rubbing the sleep from my eyes as we wait for a driver to take us to the hotel.

“I know.” His eyes widen in comedic fashion. “I knew you snored, but wow.”

“Shut up,” I hiss, playfully whacking him in the arm with my bag. “You’re not exactly a prize yourself.”

“What?” he squeaks. “Me? The one universally known for saying the pig-headed walking cliché? You must be kidding me.”

Groan. Being here with him almost feels like coming home again. I’ve missed our easy banter. The way he always knows what to say to get a reaction, even if sometimes it’s things better left unsaid. It’s him and I’ve missed this.

“Are you hungry?” he asks, breaking my string of internal thoughts.

“Huh?” I say, shaking my head to clear the string of internal thoughts.

He chuckles. “I mean, I know you cleared out the kitchen on the plane, but we could have the driver stop somewhere before we go check in.”

“Have I mentioned I hate you?”

“I’m just kidding.” He nudges me with his shoulder. “I’m starving though.”

“Okay,” I shrug. “Honestly, anything to prolong having to think about tomorrow is a welcome thing for me right now.”

He nods and puts one arm around my shoulders as he takes the bag I’m holding and slings it over his shoulder with his. “You’ve got enough to carry, right now. Let me take that one.”

And here we go again. “Maybe you’ve got enough of your own to carry.”

“Nah,” he squeezes my shoulders, “I’ll take everything you want to give me.”

A car pulls up and my phone beeps with a notification that our driver is here. “Looks like this one’s us.” I grab his hand and lead him to the black sedan. “Chinese food, please.”

The driver nods and Adair laughs. “How did you know that’s what I was hungry for?”

“It’s what you’re always hungry for.”

“You’ve been paying attention too.”

Duh.

---

Adair made good on his promise and was ready before I even was this morning. It’s not fair how easy it is for guys to get ready. It took me a solid hour and a half. It didn’t help that my concealer refused to cooperate this morning and shot a giant blob of skintone goop onto my white shirt, which meant I had to change halfway through getting dressed. Though part of that might have been because my nerves were completely shot after spending the entire night with Adair, eating Chinese takeout and watching old movies from our high school years. It was nice. It was also terrifying and right now I feel like I want to jump out of my skin.

His hand tightens around mine as Stone enters the courtroom and takes the seat next to his attorney, Mister Danvers.

“Order in the court,” the bailiff calls out. The sounds of chatter almost immediately cease to exist, and the silence is both eerie and cold. “The Honorable Judge Matthews is now residing.” The judge is an older man with eyes that kind of remind me of Griffin’s if he was a couple of decades older.

“The Court will now hear the case for the Commonwealth versus Stone Thompson,” he says, glancing up briefly from his papers.

“Your Honor,” his attorney says, standing up, “there have been some recent developments we’d like to bring to the Court’s attention. Permission to approach.”

“Permission granted. Counsel?” The judge and both attorneys are in deep conversation at the front of the court room.

Adair leans over and whispers in my ear. “Can you hear what they’re saying?”

“Not a word,” I whisper back, suddenly afraid I’m going to get hauled off for speaking while court is in session. Stone and I have always been so different. He’s never been afraid of consequences, not once in his life.

Both attorneys go back to their seats behind the small tables on opposite ends of the room while the judge thumbs through documents Mister Danvers gave him. It looks like the prosecuting attorney has the same ones in front of her. “Mister Thompson, it has come to the Court’s attention you have been engaged in some various forms of community service. Is that true?”

Stone’s attorney nudges him in the arm.

“Yes, your honor,” Stone says.

“While I appreciate your efforts to display a new leaf, as they say, and show your support of community, I can’t help but notice these acts are not located in the same community where your charges were first introduced.”

“I can explain that, your honor,” his attorney interjects.

“I don’t believe I need an explanation, Counsel.” The judge clears his throat and goes back to looking over the paperwork as his attorney takes his seat again, this time with slumped shoulders signaling defeat. “What I have seen here today is a young man who feels he is above the law. No one is above the law, especially not in my court room. Because the defendant broke the terms of his parole, I am placing him in court custody and rescheduling this trial at the request of the prosecution for six months from today at ten a.m.” The judge bangs his gavel sending a loud thump echoing through the room. “Court adjourned.”

“So, does that mean the community thing wasn’t actually an attack against Amaryllis?” Adair asks with good reason.

“It looks like it was just another way for The Machine to try and stay out of hot water. Imagine the press when they get ahold of the fact that his label actually helped him break the terms of his parole,” I whisper into his ear.

He pulls back grabbing my hand, which is currently scrolling through my contacts looking for the right person to leak this story. His eyes are heavy as he stares into mine. “Carly, you don’t have to do this.”

“Stone needs to hit rock bottom before he’ll ever grow up.” I flick the screen and find exactly the person I need to talk to. I swipe sending him a message with the recorded audio from the judge and a note that the audio cannot be part of the leak. “My loyalty rests with Amaryllis; not Stone.”

The pain in his eyes is almost tangible as he takes a deep breath. “Carly, I’ve gone through life building walls to hide my pain. Don’t do the same thing, I’ve done. It isn’t going to work.”

“You hate him. Why are you defending him?”

His eyes shift focusing on Stone who is still bickering with his attorney at the front of the court room. “Because some things are more important than holding on to distant memories, as unpleasant as those memories may be.” He hops up and in three large steps he’s already at the railing just behind Stone tapping him on the shoulder. Stone’s face immediately hardens as his jaw clenches but as Adair talks to him his expression slowly transforms back into something closer to the brother I remember. He reaches out and Adair returns the gesture, shaking his hand before turning to walk back towards where I’m still dumbfounded sitting in my spot on the bench.

“What did you just do?” I ask.

“I made amends with an old friend.” He reaches out and offers his hand to me. “It’s okay to acknowledge the past without it suffocating the future.” His hand slowly takes my phone from mine and locks the screen. “Before you send that message, take time to think about if you really want to keep suffocating yours and Stone’s future together.”

“How can I have any kind of future that involves my brother when he’s locked up anyway?” I say crossing my arms over my chest. Yes, I’m sulking. I have a right to.

“You might change your mind.” He tugs on my hand pulling me up so I can follow him towards the door. “If you do, Mister Danvers will be sending you all of Stone’s contact information so you can contact when and if you decide you’re ready.”

The person he’s shown me over the last two days is the person I’ve always hoped he would let himself become. How can I trust it though? He’s gone through phases before. Times when I thought he was growing, changing for the better to live up to his full potential. It never worked though. A few weeks into it and he’d slide right back into his self-destructive habits. Just like Stone. I don’t know if I have the strength to keep letting either of them back into my life. It just hurts too much when they go back to their old habits. “Adair, I appreciate what you’re trying to do. I really do,” I say, placing my palm on his chest. Over the heart I’ve always hoped would one day be mine. “I just don’t have the emotional capacity to be with anyone right now. I’m completely numb on the inside and I don’t want to be, but it’s the truth. I don’t want to hurt you.” I glance over my shoulder to my brother. “I don’t want to hurt Stone, either. He’s got more than enough problems of his own to deal with. I’m going to catch my flight back home before I add any more pain to the situation for anyone,” I say losing my breath on the last word. My coach ticket finally reveals itself in the bottom of my bag as I fumble through the chaotic mess that lives inside those leather walls. His eyes focus in on it and his half smile fades.

“Don’t do this, Carly.”

“I have to.” I reach up memorizing the way his morning stubble feels against my palm. “The pain of the ups and downs are just too much to take. I hope you understand. I’m broken. I need to heal myself before I can have anything to offer anyone else.”