CHAPTER EIGHT
BRENDA

The first thing I thought when I opened my eyes the next morning was that I’d met Cash Saunders. My not-so-secret celebrity crush, the guy I used to daydream about as I listened to him singing in my earbuds. The guy I’d even had a rather steamy dream about a time or two.

And what had I done? Acted like the prim school teacher from Little House On The Prairie. I cringed at the thought, but that’s exactly what I’d done. I’d watched him from afar the rest of the night, keeping up with Stacey as she made the rounds with the other people at the barbecue.

I’d managed to eat a potato chip, and that was all.

I wanted a do-over, a chance to give him a piece of my mind for leaving his family for so long. But I also wanted a chance to act like a woman with a brain in her head that didn’t titter like a schoolgirl.

I got out of my bed and wondered if that was really what I wanted? Would I want to date a celebrity? Two days ago, I’d told Stacey I didn’t want to date anybody, it would be too much. All of my old fears raised their ugly heads as I showered and got ready for a Sunday at home. Alone.

That didn’t appeal to me so I decided to head down to the local bakery. A nice fluffy apple turnover and some rich coffee would keep my mind off of Cash Saunders and the fact that Stacey had kept who her brother really was a secret. Of all the secrets I suspected my best friend kept, that wasn’t one I’d been expecting. At all.

I headed over to Sweet Cream & Custard and found a parking spot well away from the bakery. That was all I needed to know about how busy the place was on this beautiful Sunday morning. I could hear a lot of noise as I walked in, inhaling the scents of apple, cinnamon, and coffee with pure joy. This was one of my favorite places to be in the world.

My mother would kill me if she knew my breakfast was what amounted to a mountain of sugar, but I couldn’t really bring myself to care. Since I’d moved out of my parents’ home, I’d been doing things like this, things Mom wouldn’t allow me to do. I’d learned that Mom not knowing what I was doing made it easier to do those things.

I needed to live a little, after all, didn’t I? A little sugar wouldn’t hurt me, especially when it came wrapped inside a warm apple turnover. There were 9 people ahead of me, so I decided to check my messages while I waited. I saw one from Stacey, but it was just her sending me a video on TikTok. I smiled and was about to open the video when somebody rammed into me from behind.

A hand reached out to grab at my elbow, but I pulled it away and turned around, ready to hiss at whoever it was that hadn’t been paying attention to where they were. The curse was on my lips until I saw who it was that had been so rude. “Cash?”

He’s got those expensive looking aviators on and what must be his favorite ball cap pulled down on his head, but I knew it was him. But why was he hiding out like that, with his head ducked down? Then it dawned on me. People must flock to him all the time, and he just wanted to keep a low profile.

“Yeah, um, sorry Brenda, I didn’t mean to run into you. Are you alright?”

I waved off the apology and was about to reply when he shoved a $100 bill into my hand. I stared down at it, then back up at him, ready to blast him for what I thought was an indecent offer.

“Can you order me a dozen apple turnovers and a black coffee? I need to get out of here. People are noticing it’s me. Meet me behind the bakery, in the alley, for the handover, okay? And get whatever you want too, on me.”

I felt terrible for him as he looked around, clearly worried about starting a stampede, and who could blame him? People were starting to look at him and whisper to those with them. At least my initial suspicion that he was offering me money for sex had been wrong.”Yeah, sure. You go ahead.”

“Thanks, you’re a lifesaver.” He gave me a thumbs up and raced out of the door.

I shook my head, feeling really sorry for the guy now. It must be terrible to live life like that. I stood in line, shuffling forward slowly as the line moved along. I finally made my order, and Cash’s, and carried two bags and two cups of coffee in a carrier tray to the back of the bakery.

“Oh, man, you really are a lifesaver. I’ve been dreaming about these since I got back. Well, long before I got back, actually. I’ve missed them for years. I’ve had them all over the world, but nothing compares to these.” He took the bag and the coffee I offered him with a grateful smile. I’d put the change in his bag and pointed it out to him.

“I put your change in the bag.” I said, that feeling of being starstruck starting to take hold again. My right hand reached up to touch my hair, tucking a lock behind my ear nervously. “This feels like we’re doing a drug deal.”

I felt my face fall and my cheeks flame as I realized how stupid that sounded. I pulled that lock of hair away from my ear and ducked my head.

“Yeah, it kind of does, doesn’t it? And sugar can be addictive, right? I know these turnovers sure are addictive.” He answered, giving me one of the most charming grins I’d ever seen in my life. I think my knees even went a little wobbly for a second it was so amazing.

“Oh yes, they can be. My mother would kill me if she saw what was in my bag.” I replied, still feeling like an idiot, but at least he was playing along.

“So, you’re friends with Stacey. How come I never saw you in high school with her? It’s such a small town, I feel like I should remember you,” Cash said, leaning one leg on the wall casually. He looked so relax, but his question made me feel anything but.

“Oh, Stacey and I ran in different crowds back then and I wasn’t popular. I could disappear like it was magic, especially in those crowded hallways. I studied a lot and kept to myself.”

“Still, I think it’s really weird I never noticed you. I’m sure I would have, if I’d seen you.” Cash’s voice was distant, as if going through his memories.

I don’t remember, or know, if they ever made any kind of announcements in school about me or my illness and I really don’t want him to remember that about me. I’m tired of being that woman that survived cancer. I want to be more than the disease I beat. I want to be known for who I am, not what I was. For some reason, it suddenly became very important to me that he not know that about me.

Maybe it was just that I didn’t want his pity, or to see his face change as he began to see me as someone that used to be sick. I just wanted to be a grown woman, awkward and shy, but still, simply a woman and nothing more.

“I need to go, Sunday morning, you know. You have a good day, Cash. I hope you enjoy your illicit turnovers.” I smiled at that thought, illicit turnovers, like they were something naughty, and turned away.

“Hey, don’t go. We could go to the park and eat together, if you want? It’s warm out this morning and it’s a lovely day.” He said, halting me mid-turn. I almost agreed, I almost jumped at the chance, but I clamped down on my girlish infatuation and shook my head.

“I can’t, I have other plans.” Which was nothing but a lie, but he’d never know that.

“Alright. Maybe another time, then. Have a good day, Brenda. And thanks again.”

I waved and walked away, wishing I’d said yes, that I’d walked over to the park with him. But he’d be leaving soon and I’d stay here, in Tender Hills, teaching my students and living my life quietly. It wouldn’t do me any good to get attached to him, now would it? Even as a friend.