CHAPTER FIVE
CASH

The beer with Tad was postponed when his girlfriend called to tell him her car broke down so I headed back to my Mom and Dad’s. They were watching TV together, Mom curled up against Dad, while the cake Mom baked cooled in the kitchen. I’d always admired their relationship, wanted that for myself, but so far, I hadn’t found the right woman.

Being on the road all the time, promoting my music, made life hard and I wouldn’t subject a woman to that. I wouldn’t put my own family before my career, so I’d put off serious relationships since my last breakup. That was a relationship worth writing a song about in itself, it was so crazy.

I couldn’t see Mom busting out all of Dad’s car windows just because he got tired of being her ATM machine and a way for her to get on magazine and blog covers. She might do a lot of frowning and pursing her lips at him, but violence? That wasn’t in her to do.

“You need me to do anything out back?” I asked when the show they’d been watching ended.

“Could you make sure the tables and chairs are clean?” Dad asked, his arm firmly around Mom.

“Sure, I’ll do that,” I answered and headed out to the back patio. The chairs were all in a shed in the back so I took them out and wiped them down before I did the plastic tables they kept for big dinners.

Cleaning everything had kept my mind off the party, but now, a few hours later, as Dad fired up the grill and Mom put hamburgers, marinated chicken, and hot dogs on plates for him to cook, nervousness set in. I don’t know what to say to people here anymore.

In LA we talked about our work, parties we’d been to, who was sleeping with who this week, and other conversations that had left me with a whole lot of distrust from the get-go out there. Here? I didn’t know any stats about the local high school sports teams, didn’t know most of the new places that had sprung up in Tender Hills, and had no clue if Billy Bob was still married to Mary Sue or what their kids were doing. I didn’t even know my own sisters’ kids or husbands.

That was all on me, though. I’d put everything I had into my success and had let my parents and siblings fall by the wayside. I’d missed a lot of moments, special moments, and that had eaten at me, even as I had a PA send out presents for those special occasions, gifts that PA picked out and bought for me. My parents hadn’t said anything, but I’d been gone a long time. I had a lot to make up for.

That wasn’t all that was on my mind as the sun started to make its way out of the sky and people showed up. I hadn’t slept enough the night before, my mind on the album and the contract I’d signed. There was no way I could write the songs and make an album in a month. It couldn’t be done. But I had to find a way.

“Here, son, take these appetizers out to the table at the end and see if everyone knows where the drinks are, alright? I need to put the last touches on this cake.” Mom asked, two plates in her hands, filled with vegetables and dip in one and marinated smoked sausage in the other.

I nodded and took the plates over, smiling and nodding at people that were too starstruck to actually speak to me. I heard them whispering, as I walked by, and a few girlish giggles from ladies that were too old to be giggling like that. I guess my tight jeans brought it out of them, though.

“Lovely evening, isn’t it, son?” Dad asked as I approached him, meaning to dig a beer out of the cooler filled with ice.

“It is, Dad. Want a beer?” I asked, reaching into grab two.

“Got one, son. You know my limit’s three.” Dad pointed his chin at the beer going warm on the table. Dad never had been much of a drinker, but he didn’t mind a few every now and then. “Sky sure is beautiful this evening.”

I looked up to see white fluffy clouds reflecting reds, oranges, and pinks from the coming sunset. “It is, Dad.”

I’d repeated myself, but he didn’t seem to mind as he went back to flipping burgers.

“I heard you walking around last night, pacing the floor so to speak. What’s on your mind, son?” Dad asked as I twisted off the cap and took a swig. At least he’d bought good beer.

“I got myself into a mess without realizing it, Dad. I thought I still had a few months to get this next album out. Turns out, I’ve got about 29 more days left. It’s an impossible task.” I said with a heavy sigh, not looking at the strangers behind me. It was a small town and I used to know everybody in it, but now? Now, everyone seemed to be other people, not the folks I used to know at all.

“I’ve got faith in you, son. Between your mother’s cooking and some fresh country air, you’ll get on track, back to writing in no time. Then you just gotta add a guitar and some drums, and away you go.” Dad chuckled, shaking his head. “Oh, I’m sure there’s more to it than that, but you got this, son.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Cash? Honey, your sisters are here with the babies. Come see them all.” Mom called as a group of people followed Mom out to the huge backyard. I saw my sister Stacey, grownup and cranky looking, with her daughter perched on her side. Caroline, my other sister, rushed up to me before I could inspect anybody else, her arms around my neck.

“I sure have missed you, Cash. God, it’s good you’re home. Come meet the kids and my husband.”

I nodded at Stacey, who just stood there glaring at me with her mini-me in her arms, but turned to greet the man that Caroline stood next to. “This is my husband, York, and our boys, Jacob and Miles. They’re two now.”

York had both boys in his arms so he couldn’t shake my hand, but nodded at me politely. “Big fan, Cash. Love your work.”

“Thanks, man,” I nodded back, surprised at how warm my chest felt as I looked at the small children my sisters had produced. “They’re all gorgeous, your kids, Stacey and Caroline.”

“Oh, everyone just drools over little Clara, and she deserves every bit of it,” Caroline gushed, kissing her niece’s cheek. “My boys are handsome little devils too, but Clara is such a sweetheart.”

Caroline always had been the peacekeeper in the family and she still was, I saw. I looked at the girls, barely more than teenagers when I left, but now adults and my brain just shorted out. I couldn’t think of anything to say so I just nodded as Caroline continued to chat away.

I saw Stacey walk away with the baby and wished I could make that frown go away, but I deserved it. I’d been her favorite sibling growing up and I’d just left without a backwards glance. I hadn’t even bothered to come to her wedding. I’d been shooting a music video and couldn’t get away. I had to go after her, make amends.

I waited until Caroline started to chat with my Dad, then went to Stacey. “San, come on. Talk to me. Please?”

“Why should I?” she asked, turning away, but I could hear the tears in her voice as she held the baby close to her chest. “You didn’t show up for my wedding, you missed my daughter’s birth, and everything else in between. Did you know there were rumors you were actually in prison and you weren’t Cash Saunders, the singer, because you never came home or invited any of us out to LA? Why should I talk to you?”

“Stacey, please. I’m sorry. Tell me what I can do to make this right?”

Stacey got a glint in her eye then, a glint that always spelled trouble when we were kids. She even smirked a little as she looked over in the direction of her friend. “Alright. You can talk to Brenda, my best friend. She’d be good for you and she needs to date more.”

“I’m not here looking for a date, Stacey.” I started to say, but shut up when she gave me the look. The look that makes children behave all over the world.

“But you haven’t met her yet. She’s just coming out of the door there. See?” Stacey said softly, pointing with a finger at someone joining my parents at the back door.

The woman, Brenda, turned then, and I caught the full weight of her gaze. The world stood still.

“Yeah, that’s her. Brenda. I think you two would make a really cute couple.” Stacey said, laughter in her voice as I stood there, rooted to the ground. Brenda was the most beautiful, angelic woman I’d ever laid eyes on. I might have time for a date or two, after all.