CHAPTER NINE
CASH

I squinted, trying to see the words written in the word file on my tablet, but the glare of the sun overhead was too bright. I moved it under the umbrella over the table in the backyard, but that didn’t help.

“Good grief.” I mumbled to myself, frustrated beyond belief. I’d thought coming home, being amongst my old friends, getting a break from touring, would inspire me. Instead, it only enhanced my fear that I was, indeed, a one-hit wonder.

I heard the back door open and turned to see my mother coming out, a plate in one hand, a bottle of tea tucked under her arm.

“Son, you need to eat.” Mom said as she put a huge sandwich in front of me, one of her special, deli-style sandwiches. She even made her own bread for it. I smiled at the love that she gave me and reached out for her hand.

“Thanks, Mom. That’s kind of you,” I said, knowing it would make her blush. It did.

She grinned from ear to ear, but those lovely cheeks of hers still turned pink. “It’s nothing, Cash, only a sandwich.”

“It’s the love that went into it, Mom, that’s what I appreciate.” And what I’d missed for so long.

“How’s it going?” She asked, standing there, trying not to look nosy, but unable to hide her curiosity.

“Not good. It’s Friday and I still don’t have a single song written.” I frowned down at the sandwich, but picked it up. I saw two garlic pickles on the side and knew she’d put those there because she knew I loved them.

“It’ll come to you.” She bent to kiss my head and then walked back into the house to leave me in peace. I wasn’t sure that was what I wanted but I appreciated her understanding. “I bet your inspiration will come when you least expect it, honey.”

Inspiration? Yeah, I had a lot of that, but the kind that would make an album. I should be focused, writing a song about what it’s like to come back home after being gone so long, but every time I tried to write a verse, I got a vision of smiling green eyes and a smile that I wanted to see for the rest of my life.

“It’s only because she didn’t gush about my singing.” I’d told myself a hundred times. Along with “it’s only because she got you your turnovers without making a big deal about it.” And there’d also been the one about how I only liked her because she was beautiful, but that hadn’t really seemed right. There was just something about her that I couldn’t let go of, but I didn’t really know what that was.

“Focus,” I reminded myself as I finished the sandwich and turned my tablet back on.

I’d started a song. Well, it was more like I had a bunch of disjointed verses that I couldn’t pull together into one coherent song. Maybe they should all be a part of different songs? I had to do something soon, though. I have to get this album started or I’d be in big trouble. The kind that cost me a lot of money and future opportunities if I failed.

I was about to give up for an hour, go and do something else, when my phone rang. Not many people had this number, it was a top secret private line just for my closest friends and family. I didn’t recognize the number, but answered it anyway.

“Hello?” I said, wondering who was on the line.

“Hey, Cash, it’s Tad. I hope it’s okay I called? That I’m not interrupting anything important?”

I smiled, remembering I’d given him my number at the barbecue. “Hey, man, what’s up?”

“Um, well, I have a favor I want to ask, and I know it’s kind of presumptive of me, but, um, it’s for the kids, okay? We’re trying to raise money for the baseball team and I wondered if you’d come out tonight, throw the first pitch in tonight’s game, to draw a crowd for us? It’d sell a whole bunch of tickets, I’m sure, if people knew you were going to be there. The kids need new uniforms, and well, I was hoping you’d want to help us out?”

“Oh yes, sure, Tad, I could do that,” I replied with enthusiasm. Okay, maybe I don’t want to be in the spotlight while I’m at home, but I had wanted to do some stuff like this, to help give back to the community that raised me. “But, how are you going to announce it so late in the day?”

“Dude, we have the Internet now, remember? Leave it with me.” Tad chuckled and I rolled my eyes at myself. Of course, we were living in the age of technology. I bet people from counties all over the state will show up. Not that I’m conceited, but I have sold out an entire arena in less than an hour. “Besides, it’s a small town and news travels fast in small towns, remember?”

I did and that made me nervous.

**

“It sure is nice of you to do this, son,” Dad said as he pulled into the parking lot at the high school. We’d walk over to the baseball field from here. It was kind of strange, how I felt like I could just be a normal person here, park at the high school like always, without thinking about security, as I did when I was on the road.

That made me wonder if I was being careless, especially when Mom and Dad were with me?

Doubts flooded in as we got out of the car and met up by the hood. Other people walked around us, some noticing me, whispering to each other and nudging one another, but so far, nobody approached me. That relieved some of my worries. As Tad said, it was a small town and one thing I knew about most people in this town was that they had manners.

Mom and Dad left me to find seats in the stands while I went down to the dugout to find Tad. He was there, giving the boys a pep talk as I walked in.

“Hey, Cash! You made it. Guys, you remember, Cash, right?” Tad said with a laugh that invited all of us to join in with him. We all knew they remembered me.

“Hi, fellas. Good luck tonight,” I said with a nod to them all. They all grinned at me before Tad told them to warm up outside the dugout. “I’ve got to admit, I’m kind of nervous about this, man.”

“Dude, are you serious?” Tad asked, falling back into our old lingo back when we were in high school. He looked about as excited as a kid on Christmas. “Look at the stands, they’re full and people are putting down blankets on the grass. This is going to be awesome and all you have to do is throw the first pitch. That’s it. I can’t thank you enough for this.”

I smiled, glad to help but feeling like a heel at the same time. I wasn’t so big for my britches that I was conceited and knew people would show up if they thought I’d be there, but I did know my own abilities. And at the same time, I kind of felt like the animal in the zoo, locked in a cage to be looked at by people on the outside.

Fame was a strange thing, I’d known that since it came to me, but here at home, it made me nervous, awkward, and a little worried I was being too laid back.

Tad went out on the field, as the home team coach, to get the evening started. He introduced me as the kids came out on the field and took up their positions. Back in the day, I’d been a pretty decent pitcher, so I wasn’t nervous about that. What made me nervous was wondering if all of these people knew I was a fake? A man that had one good album in him and nothing more? I threw the pitch and the crowd cheered, chanting my name as the kid knocked the ball into the outfield.

I scanned the crowd for a familiar face as I walked off the field, shaking hands and signing a few autographs while I headed back to the dugout. She hadn’t come. Brenda. My sister’s best friend. That bummed me out, but I stayed there with Tad for the rest of the game, hoping I’d see her again soon. Even if I shouldn’t.