CHAPTER SEVEN
CASH

I walked over to the cooler and dug my hand around in the ice, wincing at how cold it was until I found the bottle of seltzer she’d asked for. He didn’t know why the woman would want a seltzer when they were at a party, but different folks for different folks. Maybe she’d had an alcoholic parent, or something like that.

I stood back up straight, looking for the woman, but she wasn’t by the tree anymore. I saw her over with my sister now. Brenda, my sister’s best friend, was clearly flustered and animated as she berated my sister, but so dang beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman as beautiful as the woman that stood there by my sister, hissing words at her, as my sister laughed and hugged her.

It was clear to me the woman hadn’t known I was Stacey’s brother. I guessed she was a fan, from the starstruck way she’d looked at me and barely been able to speak. I doubted the woman was ever that tongue-tied around ‘normal’ people.

I’d told Stacey I wasn’t there to date, and now that it was clear the woman knew who I was, I felt myself cool off. That wasn’t from the ice. Women chased me for my fame and fortune. Back in the day, when I was new to LA, I thought it was me the women wanted, and some might have, but in the end, they always wanted what I could do for their careers or give to them.

I’d come to learn that dating in LA was only about climbing ladders. Between that and my career, I didn’t have a lot of time for dating anyway. A hookup here and there, maybe, but a relationship? He didn’t have time for that. But as my eyes took her in, standing with a light blue cardigan on, despite the warm air, I couldn’t help but think…maybe.

I walked back towards her, and smiled when she looked over at me. I smiled a little more when I caught that, but she was already looking away. I stopped, mesmerized by the sight of her. She was flustered, her face animated in conversation, but there was something beautiful about her.

I sighed, and looked away. I’d take her the drink, then go back to talking to my dad or something. I really didn’t have time for a woman in my life. I walked over and the pair went quiet.

I wanted to ask them what they’d been talking about but didn’t want to be rude. Mom had taught me manners and not to be impolite, so I hesitated and settled for standing there, my mouth glued shut.

“Thanks,” she said and looked away, but not before I caught how pink her cheeks were as she glanced away, her eyes darting from place to place as she looked for an escape.

I wanted to say something funny, or something nice, to get her to relax, but nothing came to mind.

“My pleasure,” I replied, wanting to say more but felt like I was under a microscope. I had my sister glaring at me, mouthing ‘go on’ from one side of her face, while Brenda looked away, too flustered to say much. I cleared my throat and shifted my weight, feeling out of place.

“Um, do you guys need anything else? I can grab you some food or another drink, Stacey?” I offered, hoping to break the tension.

Brenda shook her head, a small smile forming on her lips.

“No, thank you. I think we’re good for now,” she said, her voice soft and sweet.

I couldn’t help but feel drawn to her. There was something about the way she carried herself, the way she looked at me, that made me feel like I was the only person in the world.

But I knew better than to let myself get carried away. Women like her didn’t want someone like me. They wanted a man that would be home to help with the kids and the chores every night, someone like Stacey or Caroline’s husbands. I wasn’t that kind of man, at all.

I smiled at her one last time before turning to leave.

“Okay, well, enjoy the party,” I said, trying to sound casual, but not sure I pulled it off. I smiled in relief when I saw Tad, my former best friend walk through the back door and out into the yard. He caught my eye and waved at me, shouting my name. “Excuse me, please.”

“Sure,” Brenda said, her eyes on Tad, before they came back to me. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” I murmured before I scurried away to greet Tad. Tad wrapped me in a huge hug and slapped my back before he pulled away.

“Good to see you, man. You, uh, you remember Pam don’t you? She’s my girlfriend,” Tad said as a redhead walked up behind him, her green eyes unreadable.

“Of course I remember Pam. How are you?” I said exuberantly, though I kind of felt as if I’d been kicked in the chest. I’d dated Pam all through high school, until we broke up during that last summer after graduation. I wanted to go off to start my career, while she’d wanted to get married and continue her education at the local community college.

Our relationship hadn’t ended on a bad note and I was kind of taken aback that Tad was dating her now, even if I had no right to feel that way.

“I’m glad you got your dreams, Cash,” Pam said without a hint of malice. I nodded at her.

“Thanks. And how about you? Tad says you’re a nurse now?” I said, running over everything Tad had said, and hadn’t said. Such as, hey I’m dating your ex now, even though I’d sworn in high school that I’d never date her because she was too high maintenance.

I left all of that unsaid, however, wondering if this moment would turn into a song. I could feel a stirring in my brain, that itch to have my guitar in my hands. I looked away for a moment, my eyes seeking and finding Brenda. Was there a song in this moment?

“Hey, why don’t you two get some food and a drink or two? I’m going to see if Dad needs some help, real quick,” I told them, walking away when I finished. I saw a look of concern pass between the pair so I waved with a smile at them. I didn’t have hard feelings about their relationship, it was just all so weird.

Being back home was like walking into an alien world that shouldn’t feel that way at all. I had one sister gushing over me, another ready to hook me up with her best friend, and friends and family members that I barely had anything in common with anymore. For a moment, as I hustled over to my Dad at the grill, I felt like the world was closing in around me.

“You alright, son?” Dad asked as I sank down in a chair next to him, wiping my hands on my jeans.

“Yeah, it’s just strange, you know? I’ve gotten used to life in LA, I guess this is kind of like reverse culture shock, or something.” I replied without thinking. I grimaced and looked over at my dad. “I didn’t mean that to sound like it did.”

“No, I guess it makes sense. You’re used to being insulated from fans. Here, you’ve got them all over and life has gone on in your absence. I remember when I came home from my first deployment from the army, way back in the day. Nothing seemed to be real.”

“You get it then,” I said, surprised to hear my dad talk about his army days. He never talked about it.

“I do. You’ll get over it, I did. And I have no doubt you’re going to write some great songs from this experience.” Dad leaned over to flip a burger before he stood up.

I had a feeling I knew what he was about to do. This day just kept getting weirder and weirder and what Dad was about to do would just make it that much worse. I didn’t want the spotlight on me, but as Dad cleared his throat, I put on my superstar smile and tried to zone out.

“If I can have everyone’s attention, please. I’d like you all to join me in welcoming Cash home. He went off to California and realized his dreams. His mom and I couldn’t be more proud of him. Here’s to you son, may your success last a lifetime, like I know it will,” Dad raised his warm beer and toasted me.

Everyone else at the barbecue cheered along with Dad. I smiled and gave a weak wave, dreading the moment someone asked me to sing. Luckily, nobody did. I went back into the house after that and hid in my room for a moment. I needed a break, to breathe for a moment without a dozen pairs of eyes on me. But as I sank down to my bed and closed my eyes, it was a pair of green eyes that I saw behind my eyelids. Laughing green eyes that smiled so tenderly at me it took my breath away.