CHAPTER FOUR
LONDON

“And just like that… My life is officially over.” I shake my head, bury it in my hands.

“It’s really not that bad,” Casey says as she loops her arm through mine and hauls my dramatic self toward the bar.

“Stop it.” She has no idea just how bad it actually is.

Her forehead wrinkles as she scrunches her eyebrows together. “What’s the deal? You’re not usually this up-tight. I mean, you’re always a little…” A giggle escapes her, but she quickly swallows it back. “How do I put it?”

“I believe you usually call me prudish.”

She laughs. “Nah. You’re not prudish. You’ve just been hurt too many times. What’s going on tonight, love?”

Nope. We are not having this conversation.

“London…” She leans her face closer to mine in that super annoying way that friends do when they think they’re being cute, and they think you’re about to let them in on your deepest darkest secrets. Yep. That’s Casey right now. “I could’ve let you come to the show by yourself.”

“That’s low.”

“I know, but a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do.”

Ugh.

“Fine.” I chew on the inside of my cheek as I try to decide which fate is worse. Giving in means she’ll diagnose my romantic life, or lack thereof. If I dig in and refuse to budge, I’ll be subjected to relentless begging and guilt tripping. “It’s not like it really matters anyway. It’s stupid.”

She pops one hand on her hip. “And maybe it’s not.”

“It is.” I wave my hand dismissively through the air. “My entire stomach flipped when he touched my hand, Case. That’s all.”

Her laugh echoes through the corridor, even over the screaming guitar playing overhead right now.

“I know.” I bury my head in my hands again. “How pathetic am I?”

“Not at all.”

“It’s like I’m still a teenager fawning all over the band posters that littered my walls.”

“Who doesn’t want their teenage dreams to come true?” She asks with a sincerity that takes me by surprise.

“I’m older now,” I scoff. “I should have more control than this. Imagine how many women walk through those lines every night, and here I am acting like a love-sick pup.”

“Hmm…” Casey nods as she turns to take in the slew of people fawning over the band. The line goes around the entire inside perimeter of the building, and it’s still growing. “I bet at least a hundred have already been through just since we walked away.”

My heart sinks.

“Of course, he couldn’t have felt the same spark you felt. Especially not after being around so many gorgeous women.” She really let the last two words hang in the air way too long.

A sigh escapes my lips. “Right.” I nod emphatically. “Women who are way closer to his league than plain ol’…” I drag my hands up through the air gesturing to my poor choice of outfit for the night. “Me.”

“Jeez, London.” She rolls her eyes and wraps an arm around my shoulders. “I was kidding. He was totally checking you out.”

“Liar.” I shake my head and push away all the crazy ideas that little glimmer of hope just gave me. “The last thing I need right now is to turn into a hormone crazed teenager again. I’ve got too much on my plate as it is.”

“Fine.” She pouts and juts out her chin. “You can be a grumpus all you want, but that man was totally flirting with you.”

If anyone is an expert on flirting, it’s Casey. “If you were telling me this about anyone else then I would totally get on the bandwagon, but it doesn’t matter. He’s in a different world. People check other people out. It’s a thing.”

“Then what’s bugging you?”

I purse my lips together while I try to figure out the answer. “It’s me, Case. I have sweaty hair stuck to my forehead, this was the last top in my closet that didn’t have milk or apple juice stains, and my armpits apparently smell like onion.” I cringe and stick out my tongue.

“Learn something new every day, right?” she laughs.

I roll my eyes… hard. “My point is that I hadn’t realized how lonely I’ve been since Nick—”

“Say no more.” She holds her hand up and lets out an exasperated sigh as we flop down on two stools at the end of the bar. “Nick was an idiot who didn’t deserve you or Carter.”

“Granted.” She’s not wrong. He is absolutely the worst type of human being. “But I hadn’t felt lonely since that day. When my stomach flipped, just because Griffin Miller touched my hand, it made me realize all those little moments I’ve been missing out on over the last few years.”

Her mouth twists to the side like it does when she’s trying to solve the problems of the world. “You don’t have to be lonely to be a good mom to Carter. You know this, right?”

I inhale a deep breath and hold it trying to will away the tears stinging at the corner of my eyes. “I…” my voice cracks.

“Oh, London.” She wraps me in a tight hug. “You need to get back out there. You can be a great mom and still take care of your own needs, and love is one of those needs.”

“I know. Maybe I’m just not ready to admit that I might want to start dating again. It’s scary out there.”

She makes a fifty-fifty gesture with her hand. “You need to date. You need to experience more than just Carter’s father, if you can even call him that, and asshole Nick.”

She’s right, but I’m not going to admit that. What if she’s right about Griffin Miller noticing me too? No. I don’t care if he noticed me. He’s everything that I absolutely do not want in a man.

Casey slides a twenty to the bartender and holds up two fingers motioning to the waters in a tiny refrigerated case at the end of the bar.

I lean over and yell in her ear. “Maybe I’ll try dating again when I don’t smell like raw onions.” I laugh because I think I’m hysterical, but she just gives me a deadpan glare.

She holds her hand out for the change. “Ten dollars. Jeez. Water suddenly became very expensive.”

“It’s the fancy label.” The bartender winks and I think Casey is debating asking for his number, but she glances at her phone where the picture of Security Hottie is still pulled up. She nods, turns, and walks away from the bar. That’s so not like her. ”You know, he was checking you out during the set too.”

“You’re really not going to let this go, are you?”

“Nope,” she says matter-of-factly.

“Griffin Miller was most definitely not staring at me through the show. He was probably just doing that trick all performers do.”

“That? Trick?” She looks genuinely annoyed now.

“I thought everyone knew about it. My piano instructor taught me before my first recital. Pick a face in the crowd and pretend it’s only you and them in the room.” It never really worked for me. I always just focused on the keys.”

Her eyes turn from annoyed to pity in a half-a-second.

“Don’t give me that look. I still play.” And I do, even after my ex convinced me I was terrible.

“You do?” her eyebrow arches, again.

“I play.” At night. When no one is awake or listening, with my headphones plugged in to my electric piano. I think I hear someone calling my name, so I turn to see who is behind us. It’s a clear shot back to the autograph booth.

“What’s wrong?” Casey asks after taking another big swig of her water.

“I thought I heard someone call my name, but no one is there.” I shrug. “Griffin Miller is looking right at me though. That’s not weird or anything.”

She cranes her neck to see. “I told you,” she laughs, pointing right at me. 

Could she be more obvious?

I want to just crawl under the bar and die of humiliation right now. “Stop that.” I slap her hand down, so she’ll quit calling even more attention to us but her arm shoots straight back up this time pointing directly at Griffin Miller. “Casey, stop! He’s going to think I’m trying to check him out.”

She cackles and waves her hand over her head. “Like he could possibly hear anything in here?”

Well, she does have a good point. “It doesn’t matter, anyway.” He’ll forget about it as soon as the next beautiful woman parks in front of him. I hate the feelings that simple thought drags up with it.

Casey slides up beside me and grimaces. “Ugh.”

“See what I mean? He’s got an endless stream of beautiful women.”

“And look at them,” she scowls with a hand on her hip. “All lining up for their turn at being next to the rich and famous for thirty seconds.”

“I don’t blame them. That was a fantastic thirty seconds,” I sigh. “Especially when he touched my hand and do not even get me started on his eyes… I had to fake a text so I could break away from them.”

Casey slaps me on the arm. “You’re holding out on me! You do have a thing for Griffin Miller.”

“Of course, I do. Who doesn’t?” I giggle. “I literally thought my heart stopped and he would have to give me CPR right then and there.”

“That wouldn’t have been terrible either, huh?” She takes a swig of her water as I turn my back to the autograph booth, including Mister Griffin Miller, so I can preserve what little dignity I have left. “I would like to avoid gawking at him anymore than I already have tonight, so can we move on?”

“Sure.” She shrugs. “I’m getting hungry,” she says, pulling her phone back out. “I’m going to text Devon. Do you want tacos or burgers tonight?”

“Devon? Security guard?”

She nods with a smirk that I don’t think I’ve seen her wear before.

“I don’t care. I’m just starving.” Of course, the new guy will say yes. No one ever turns down Casey. She’s too much fun and far too cute and bubbly for anyone to turn down.

The lights dim again, which causes the crowd to start yelling from inside the main auditorium again.

“We’re going to miss the encore,” she says, stuffing the phone into her back pocket. “Let’s go.” She grabs my arm and pulls me toward the auditorium doors. They’re playing a melody that would translate beautifully to piano. I might try and play by ear later when I get home. Just for fun, of course.