CHAPTER NINE
GRIFFIN

Nash is standing at the exit as I come around the corner. “Hey, we’re heading over,” he holds up his phone signaling to check my notifications.

I grunt. 

Yes, I grunted. 

That’s all I have in me right now, until I know if she’s going to be there or not.

“Ah, Griff!” Adair pats me hard on the back. “That was intense, dude. I’ve never heard you sound so good. We need to get her back on the keys for Monday’s gig.” 

I nod. 

He’s right about all of the above, but I can’t say a damn word.

He leans over and whispers, “If you could track her down again, we could actually kick Stone out for good.” A maniacal grin spreads across his face.

“I caught up to her.”

“Ah, great! Where’d you find her at?”

“In the main corridor.” I want to kick my own ass right now for blowing it yet again.

The huge smile slowly fades from his face as he studies my expression. “And?”

I chew on my cheek trying to decide if I should tell him to get lost, or just own up to the fact that I have no idea if I’ll ever see this girl again. “I didn’t get her last name.” 

“Well, that’s one strike,” he mumbles and shrugs, “you’ve still got two left. Don’t count yourself out just yet.” 

“I didn’t get her number, so that’s two strikes.” I gulp down my pride and admit, “I also have no idea if she’s even interested.” Three strikes and I’m out.

Adair cringes.

“I can practically hear the umpire yelling at me. It’s like high school all over again.”

“Well, you never were the athlete in the bunch. Nash has the lock on that.”

I grip the back of my neck and let out a deep sigh. “Music was always where my head was at, and until tonight, that’s where my heart was too.”

“And now it’s with her?”

I back up to the wall and let it support my weight since my legs are currently doing a piss poor job of it. “And I let her slip away without getting her name or phone number… or anything.”

“Nothing?”

I shrug. “I gave her my number and invited her to the after party.”

“There you go.”

“But who knows if she’ll actually show up? I had to look like a total headcase to her.”

Adair just pats me on the shoulder and nods as he walks past the pile of regrets I’m currently morphing into. “You know…” He stops just short of the door. “Something tells me that if she didn’t like you, even just a little bit, she never would’ve jumped on that stage. She ran off faster than a mouse chased by a cat, so it obviously isn’t her forte. If you were the real you with her, and not the piece of shit that you have to be when we’re on…” he makes air quotes around the last word, “then I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

I start to say thank you to Adair, but the door closes behind him before I can get the words out. Ironic that he would be the one to say the rockstar persona isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I wonder how long it’ll take him to take his own advice.

“He’s not wrong.” I recognize the boozed-up voice, slurs and stammers included.

Stone. Ugh. I roll my eyes so hard it hurts.

“Sometimes you just have to roll your sleeves up, man.” He drapes one arm over my shoulders, putting his face next to mine. I cringe from the smell. Remember, I’m a guy that spends the majority of my time on a tour bus with four other dudes, five if you count our driver. For a smell to make me cringe, it has to be pretty bad. 

Stone’s breath is that bad.

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do,” I say through gritted teeth. “But maybe you could actually turn up for a show before you start shelling out advice on how to live my life, huh?” Not that I actually want him to show back up on stage. If he had half the work ethic my brothers and I have then I never would have been able to spend those extra moments with London tonight. I am grateful to him, even if I still want to punch him in the face. 

He reels back in disgust like I’ve just offended his moral sensibilities, which I’m certain he has absolutely none, and swings the door open to the VIP area. As usual, there’s a full room of women swooning and waiting for his undivided attention including the blonde from earlier.

Ew. “Ladies, I would seriously run away from that one while you still can,” I warn them while pointing at Stone. He flips me off and slams the door in my face.

Whatever.

---

The bell dings overhead as I walk into the restaurant that’s been transformed to host us tonight. The girl waiting at the hostess station is fidgeting with the menus and clearly trying not to freak out over the celebrities taking over the dining area. “Right this way, Mister Miller.” She leads me back to an area with panels strung from the ceiling to the floor blocking us off from the rest of the restaurant. We slip through the gap between two of the large black pieces of fabric and I immediately breathe a sigh of relief.

She’s here.

London is sitting on the outside edge of a round booth with Casey, Devon, Nash, and Adair.

“Miss,” I hold my hand out for the menu, “I’ll seat myself if you don’t mind. I see someone here that I need to talk to.”

Her smile fades but she nods. “Of course, sir.” 

Sir? I’m getting old. 

London’s glass is already half-empty, so I get the bartender’s attention and motion to where she’s sitting. He nods grabbing a glass from overhead and performs bartender voodoo on it.

Why can’t communication with the opposite sex be this simple? This dude clearly understood a series of hand movements and grunts.  

I go over the speech in my head again and I cannot find a way to make myself sound anything other than absolutely stalker worthy. Watching her talk and laugh with Nash and Adair is making my blood pressure skyrocket, even though I know Nash and Adair would never cross that line. I try to refocus and finally settle on my opening line as the bartender slides the drink across the tabletop. “Thank you, Alex.” I got that off his name tag. “How much do I owe you?”

“Nope. The Machine has it covered. Enjoy Cherry Street Grill and thank you for playing Tulsa. We could use the extra help turning things around for the music scene here.”

“You know…”  I smile and can’t stop staring at London. “I think I should be thanking Tulsa.”

He nods and strains his neck to follow my gaze. “Ah. I know that feeling. Here…” He grabs something from under the bar. “This might help you out a little bit. My fiancé made them.” He slides a frilly pink and gold box across the bar top. “She wants to open her own bakery, so she’s been testing recipes out on all of us. This one was an extra that she brought in today.”

“Thank you.” I drop a hundred-dollar bill in the tip jar and take a deep breath. I force one foot in front of the other, until I finally reach the booth where they’re all circling my girl. Listen to me, I just placed my claim on her like some wild animal. I am a headcase.

“Hi.” Even after all the planning, that was the best opening I could come up with. Her perfume invades my senses as soon as I slide into the booth next to her. It’s comforting. 

Alluring.

Mesmerizing.

Everything that is completely and utterly London. 

She smiles and shifts just a little closer to me. Her thigh brushes against mine and I can’t help but wonder if she did that on purpose, or if she even noticed. “I’m glad you came.” Her skin peeks through the rips of her jeans taunting me.

“Well, you were very convincing,” she says with a coy little smile that lights me up on the inside.

Would she slap me if I moved closer?

Would she run?

I don’t want to risk it. Everything is perfect right now. I don’t want to ruin the moment, so instead of grabbing her around the waist and pulling her into me so I can kiss her beautiful pink pouty lips, I slide the mystery box and fresh drink in front of her. “Here, these are for you.”

She studies the box for what seems like hours. “Why?” she asks as if she’s afraid to open it.

“I just hoped it might make you smile.” I can’t think of anything, in this moment, I wouldn’t do if it meant she would smile. Her smile makes my heart beat faster even while the world around me slows down. 

“Thank you,” she says the words so softly that I would have missed them if I hadn’t been staring at her.

I don’t mean to stare.

It’s just that it feels like she’s letting me see through her soul to her very core. I don’t want to look away because it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on. 

Her jet-black fingernails are working to untangle the ribbon holding the box closed, so I reach over and tug at the ribbon to help her. My fingers brush against hers sending that spark right back through my veins. I steal a glance up at her and catch her blushing.

Did she feel it too?

The lid pops open revealing a dozen tiny petit fours with intricate yellow and pink designs.

“Oh, my goodness, these look amazing,” she says as she reaches for her drink.

“What are you doing?” Casey squeaks grabbing London by the arm just as she goes for a sip of the fruity drink. The movement causes her to miss and a little bit of pink liquid drips down her chin.

“I was taking a drink.” London growls, and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard, as she wipes her chin with the back of her hand. “What are you doing, Case?”

“I know you haven’t gone on a date in a while London, but the new normal is to check before you drink.” She digs through her bag and retrieves a flat brown disc, which she hands over to London as she glares right at me.

“Don’t look at me.” I hold my hands up in surrender. “Anything that keeps her safe gets a green light from me.”

Things that I’ve taken away from the last ten seconds:  One, London didn’t shove me out of the booth. Two, she smiled when she saw me, and that fact alone makes me feel like I’m shadowboxing in a movie montage. My stomach is still doing somersaults. And three, she hasn’t been on a date in a very long time. That could be good or bad for me, but at the theater she said she didn’t have a boyfriend. So, I’m hoping it’s good.

“What’s this?” London wrinkles her cute little nose at the brown… coaster?

“It’s a date rape drug detector.” This time Casey looks at me apologetically and I honestly can’t even be mad at her. She’s a good friend.

“Here.” Casey slides the coaster under the drink and takes the straw letting two little droplets fall onto the coaster. “Now we wait two minutes.”

London leans back against the burgundy leather of the booth and shrugs. She laughs softly under her breath. What I wouldn’t give to know what she was thinking. She looks exhausted, still beautiful but the dark circles under her eyes give her away. Her face sinks closer to my shoulder as she slides down into the booth just a little more. I lean back relaxing my shoulders enough to close the gap just a tiny bit. I really don’t want to send off any creep vibes, especially since they’re already date rape drug testing the drink that I brought her.

“Thank you, by the way” She gives me a sweet smile and waves her hand in Casey’s direction. “Assuming it isn’t drugged of course.”

“Of course.” I lean in to whisper in her ear. “I promise, I didn’t drug your drink.”

She giggles and touches my arm. The movement was so gentle, so subconscious that I don’t even think she realized she did it. But I felt so much in that touch. Everything in me sprouted to life with the simple graze of her fingertips against my arm.

“So, something has been bothering me since you said it back at the theater,” her voice is low, leaving the others at our table still immersed in their own conversations.

Jesus Christ. Can I just say one thing tonight without completely screwing it up? “I’m sorry for whatever it was.” I lean in closer to hear her over the commotion of the restaurant. “What was it?”

“You said that you’re happy I’m not that type of girl.” She pokes a finger in my chest. “So, Mister Rockstar, what type of girl do you think I am?” Her hair falls over her shoulder as she tilts her head to the side and lightly drums her black fingernails against the table, waiting for my answer.

“Ahem.” I choke on my own drink. Nash and Adair are no help at all. They’re deep in their own conversation, probably discussing some new lyric concepts. I can’t hear them through my own thoughts, which are currently swirling around in my brain like the water in a toilet bowl when you flush.

Yep, that’s me right now.

Piss for brains.

London’s gaze is locked on me right now, and I’m not hating it. I’m pretty content with her dark eyes boring a hole straight into my soul. “I’m not sure I know what you mean.” I admit. No use in trying to hide my own ignorance. She would see right through any of my facades anyway.

“You said you’re glad that I’m not one of those girls.” She makes air quotes around “those” and I just fall even harder for her. “I want to know what kind of girl you think I am and why you asked me here tonight.”

“I think you’re…” Beautiful. Talented. Loyal. Perfect. The woman I would like to have and hold for as long as we both shall live. Pick any of the above. “Strong.”

Her eyebrows pinch together as she processes my words, or lack thereof. “Strong?” she scoffs. “What? Because I’m a little more closed off than those other girls?”

That’s not at all what I meant. “No. I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

“Am I completely closed off, Case?” She whirls around to see her friend making a scrunch face.

“Kind of.” Casey cringes as the words come out of her mouth. “Who wouldn’t be though? You’re a mom. You have to be because you have more at stake than just yourself.”

“You’re a mom?” I should have known that already. The way she’s always fiddling with her bracelet because she’s used to holding a tiny hand and doesn’t know what to do when it’s not there. The way she reached out for me when she thought I was hurting… She wanted to fix the pain. “Is that who Carter is? Your son?”

She nods. “He’s my life.”

“And he loves music?”

“Yes.”

“So, he’s not why you stopped playing?”

“Nope.” She takes a sip of her drink. “Casey, since this thing isn’t sending off any bells or whistles, I’m going to assume we’re good and just let my closed off self have a drink.”

Casey nods. “Yeah, I think we’re good.” The tension is thick enough you could cut it with a knife. 

What kind of expression is that anyway? It’s never made sense to me.

I really suck at words. ”Being closed off is not what I meant at all.”

“Then what did you mean?” she narrows her eyes daring me to give her a straight answer.

“You’ve clearly been through something that’s forced you to give up what you love.” I reach out and take her hand into mine. Her skin is velvety soft against mine. I cringe internally as I think about how awful my callouses must feel to her. The price I’ve paid for my craft, but she doesn’t pull her hand away. “Tonight, I saw you stand up to Nigel. Not once, but twice. I also saw you get on stage and play a song you’ve never heard for an audience of people you’ve never met. That isn’t a flighty, looking for handouts type of woman. You are a strong…” I glance up and say the only thing that comes to mind while I’m staring into her eyes, “and absolutely beautiful soul.” 

She’s quiet.

Too quiet.

Did I go too far?

I always go too far.

“Can you let me out?” She whispers and scooches closer.

I want to stay put and refuse to let her out. Now that I’ve got her close to me, I don’t want that moment to end but, unfortunately for me, I’m not an asshole. “Of course.” I nod and stand so she can get through. I offer her my hand, which she refuses and bolts toward the exit.

“Should you… uh… Is she okay?” I wave my hand between Casey and the door.

Casey just leans back and smiles as she watches her friend, the woman with my bloody still beating heart in her hands, let the door slam behind her. “She’s fine. She just needs some air.”

“I thought women always went to the bathroom together.” Adair finally pipes up and that’s all he has to offer the conversation? Luckily, I don’t have to reach over the table and smack him because Nash does it for me.

“Hey!” He yells as he rubs the back of his head.

“That’s not really a thing. Teenage girls go to the bathroom together, women handle their shit on their own.” Casey leans into her boyfriend’s shoulder as she snickers at my idiot brother. “Do you guys go together? Maybe you hold each other’s dicks while you piss.”

Adair recoils and makes a gagging face.

“Exactly.” Casey says. “Listen Griffin…” She leans across the table and levels with me. “London has been through hell and back. Maybe you can already tell that, or maybe not, but either way you will need to treat her differently than any other woman you’ve ever been with.”

“I already know that.” I just have to figure out what that means.

Nash looks up from his cheeseburger and groans. “Here comes Nigel,” he says with his mouth still full of food.

“You guys really aren’t used to having a lot of girls around are you?” Casey’s face distorts in shock of Nash’s complete lack of table manners.

Adair shrugs and shakes his head. “I have a fair amount of them hanging around.”

This time Casey slugs him on the shoulder. I’m starting to like her even more. “That’s disrespectful,” she grumbles.

“I don’t mean to be.” He takes a bite of his fries. “They know what they’re signing up for when they’re with me. I don’t make any false pretenses.”

Nigel is on the phone when he walks up next to me. I lean around him trying to see through the large windows at the front of the building. No sign of London.

“Did you hear me?” Nigel asks.

“Nope. Sure didn’t,” I admit.

Nash and Adair are scowling and dragging their hands across their faces. Whatever I missed is clearly not good news.

“I said,” Nigel slaps me on the arm to make sure I’m listening this time, “that your good friend Stone has really screwed us over royally this time.”

“So, what’s new? He’s always screwing us over.” This isn’t front page news.

“Not like this.” He slaps his phone down on the table and shows us all a video of Stone being read his rights and shoved into a police car.

“What did he do?”

Nigel scowls and flicks the screen on his phone, so I can read the headline. Rock band Amaryllis in Trouble after Band Member is Charged with Assault and Battery.

“He probably deserves it, Nigel,” Nash says through gritted teeth.

Nigel nods. “That’s definitely true, but we cannot have this kind of publicity right now.”

“Nigel,” I sigh as I realize what I’m about to say, “he’s reckless. We can’t afford to keep Stone in the band. We have to cut him loose.”

Adair nods in agreement. “That will fix the publicity problem. Tomorrow’s headline: Former Amaryllis band member kicked out after being charged with assault and battery.”

Nigel groans and rubs his hand on the back of his neck. “It’s not that easy, guys. We’re mid-tour. We’re further than mid-tour actually.” He pulls up the calendar on his phone. “Do you realize how hard it is to get a replacement musician when you only have ninety days left on a major headlining tour? It just can’t be done.”

“Get London to replace him.” I couldn’t have stopped the words from coming out of my mouth if I had wanted to.

Nash mumbles his agreement through a mouthful of food.

“C’mon Nigel, that’s not a bad plan.” Adair says before he goes back to scrolling on his phone and stuffing his face with fries.

izy is staring at me with wide eyes. Devon has a ridiculous grin plastered on his face. He’s clearly enjoying himself.

“Get London to replace Stone,” I repeat. He’s thinking about it. I can see the wheels turning… He knows it’s a good idea. “You can’t deny the effect she had on the crowd after their reaction tonight. That was real. That was powerful. That was London.”

“Fine.” Nigel nods and shoves his phone into his suit pocket. “You’re the band playboy, Griffin. Don’t forget your place in this arrangement, or The Machine might forget your place on the payroll.”

“Don’t threaten me, Nigel.” I step toward him forcing him to step back closer to the bar.

“Don’t screw your image up for some flavor of the… night.”

That’s it. I shove him backward causing him to crash into the waitress who was unfortunate enough to be standing behind him and whose tray is now toppled over and spilled all over the floor. “Miss, I’m so sorry.” I grab pieces of plates by the handful and scoop up as much of the spilled food as I can. “Really, I’m very… very sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. I would’ve probably dropped it anyway.” She shakes her head and looks embarrassed. “It’s my first day carrying these things. I don’t know why Alex thought it was a good idea to put me on the floor tonight.” Her face is all different shades of red as she ducks back into the kitchen to fix the mess I made.

I should have kept myself in check and not let Nigel push my buttons like that. My eyes stay locked onto him as he makes his way toward the exit door, where I see all of my hopes that built up over the last half hour staring back at me. London’s jaw is gaped open, and her eyes are full of disgust… and pain.

Christ.