CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
LONDON

“Do you like Griffin,” Carter asks right in the middle of me reading him a story.

I can literally feel my eyes bulge out of their sockets and my throat suddenly feels very dry and scratchy. Cough, cough. “That’s a loaded question, Carter.”

“Why?”

How do I answer that without destroying his childish innocence and belief in people?

“You know how sugar seems amazing but isn’t that great for you, so we’re supposed to only have a little of it at a time?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s kind of how I feel about Griffin Miller. He’s fun, he’s sweet—mostly—and he’s good company, but he’s also Griffin Miller.”

Carter rolls over and snuggles into his pillow. “That’s dumb.”

“Excuse me?”

“If you like someone, you should just tell them. It’s okay to be happy, Mom. It doesn’t mean anything bad will happen.”

As I’m trying to process how my six-year old son just schooled me on life, he drifts off to sleep snoring lightly right beside me. I kiss his forehead. “Goodnight, little one.”

I close the door to the bedroom area and decide to duck into the bathroom to pull myself together before I go back out there. My reflection isn’t the woman I had found again after joining this tour. The person I was before Nick, and before the attack. The woman I see now is defeated, afraid—a victim.

I’m never going back to be someone’s victim again. Not even my own. Carter’s words echo in my thoughts. He’s right.

Griffin is putting the last dish away in the cabinet when I come back into the kitchen area. “Hey, that’s pretty great timing,” he says with an adorable grin on his face. “I think I put everything in the right place, but honestly I’m not sure. I’ll move them if—”

I grab his shirt collar, pulling his face so close to mine his lips already brush against mine. “Tell me right now, do you want me or not?”

He swallows hard as his eyes turn dark. “I want you,” he whispers against my skin, making every nerve in my body come to life at once.

“Then show me.” I tug on his tie crashing his lips into mine. I kiss him with every bit of passion that I’ve kept hidden for two months. I grab his shoulders and drag my nails down his back as he kisses me harder, gliding his tongue over mine.

“London…” He says, pulling back breathless. “I—”

“Don’t you dare tell me you can’t again.”

He grabs me by the waist and kisses me again. His lips gently tugging at mine. “Oh, I can,” he says between kisses. “I just can’t here.”

“Damn it,” I slap both of my palms against his rock-hard chest. “I really wish you’d quit toying with my heart, Griffin Miller.”

He pulls me to the sofa and lets me fall onto his lap. “I’m not toying with you, London. I never was.” His arms are locked around me, holding me in place. “When we met, you said you didn’t want to become one of those girls. The type of girl who gets with the band on the road.”

“So… you didn’t mean I’m not the kid of girl who gets to be with the legendary Mister Rockstar himself?”

He laughs and pulls me against his chest, his hands tracing a line that he lets his mouth follow from my neck to my shoulder until he stops at the spaghetti strap holding my shirt up. “I definitely did not mean that.” He lets his fingers play with the tiny band of fabric, sliding them underneath and letting them caress my skin down my chest. He stops at the neckline, tugging the fabric away just enough to place another gentle kiss right over my heart. “You are exactly the woman I want—and desperately need.”

I turn so my legs are on either side of him, holding his face between my hands forcing him to look at me and not my boobs. “Listen to me right now, Mister Rockstar.”

He grunts but shakes his head trying to focus. “Listening.”

“No lies. No secrets. No bullshit. Got it?”

His hand goes up and rests across his chest. “You have my entire heart, London James. You and Carter both. I would never do anything intentionally to hurt either of you.”

“I love you, Griffin Miller.”

“I love you back.” He puts his lips to mine and kisses me softly. “Do you want to finish Christmas Romance?”

I let myself fall into the seat next to him and snuggle into his shoulder, grabbing the remote off the stand and flicking on the television. “Might as well.”

---

I passed out in the middle of the movie, as per usual, but when I woke up… Griffin was gone. All I was left with was a note, a stupid note. I’ve crumbled and uncrumbled this same piece of paper since Wichita. I unfold it one more time to read what he wrote.

See you soon, Griffin ♥

I crumple it up again, this time throwing it into the trash bin. I should’ve known.

Carter’s pulling all of his stuff out of the cubbies and bins loading it back into his bags. I think he’s excited to be going home, but he’s definitely going to miss being this close to music all the time. Maybe I’ll start playing at home more. He might even play Issy while I do. Mom and son jam sessions. The idea makes my sour mood turn just a little brighter, until I see the bus labeled Amaryllis passing us in the other lane.

Asshole.

He checks the mirrors and slides into the same lane as the guys’ bus. “Vic, why are we going into downtown Tulsa?” My parents picked my car up from the lot the first day of tour. “I can give you my address again, if you need it.”

“Mister Miller was very specific. We’re right on course.”

“What?”

He shrugs and keeps his eyes on the road between us and the main bus. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have even said that.”

I grab my phone and text Griffin.

London: What the hell is going on?

Griffin: It’s a surprise.

London: I don’t like surprises.

Griffin: *Praying emoji*

He’s no help, so I decide to try Casey.

London: Case, are you as confused as I am right now?

Casey: Breathe. You’re going to be fine.

London: You know what’s going on and you didn’t tell me? You’re a terrible friend.

Casey: I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that and let it go since you’re stressing the eff out right now.

London: I’m sorry.

Casey: It’s okay. I’d want to yell at me too, but please trust me. You’re okay.

I sink back into the sofa practicing the breathing techniques I learned in those few yoga classes I took. Maybe it’ll help my nerves. Just about the time it feels like the walls of the bus are closing in on me, we turn into the makeshift bus camp for the Tulsa Theater and Vic announces, “We’re here.” The doors slide open with Devon standing just on the other side.

“Wait, what?”

Devon gestures toward the theater. “I’m here to lead you to your mark.”

“My mark?” I’m so confused right now. “Didn’t we play our last show already?”

He just smiles and waits for me to follow.

“Okay.” I bend down kissing Carter on the top of his head. “I guess we have a show to do. Are you okay with that?”

He nods and gives me a hug around the neck before popping his noise-canceling headphones on.

I follow Devon through the building and into the seating area, gripping Carter’s hand the whole time. “Shouldn’t we be backstage if we’re about to go on?”

He shakes his head and nods to the open seat at the very end of the row. “Sorry London, Griffin was very specific,” he says, handing me a ticket labeled 201-A.

“Sit down and breathe,” a familiar voice says. Casey is patting the seat of the chair right next to her, which Carter bounces into.

“What is going on, Case?”

“Shh. It’s about to start…” Just as the words leave her mouth the lights of the theater dim and the crowd screams. It brings back memories of the first time I ever saw Griffin Miller in person. “I’m not sure I can—”

Unfamiliar chords play through Nash’s amp as the first light comes on over his mark on the stage. Adair’s light follows right behind Nash’s as he plucks out a heavy bassline. Travis kicks in at the same time as Adair and fills in the empty space. “What song is this?” I lean over and ask Casey. She just smiles like she knows something I don’t.

The light over center stage comes on with a loud crack from the surge of power. Griffin had been standing there the entire time and I never saw him. I don’t think the crowd did either. The cheers fill the theater as he pulls the mic in close. “We’ve got a very special new song for you tonight.” He looks up, directly at me, and winks. “I really hope you love it.”

The song kicks off and my mind is racing. I can’t form a coherent thought to save my life right now. I swear I just heard my name in the lyrics. “Case…”

“Yes, that was your name.”

I thought so.

“What is he—”

“Shh! Would you listen to the words?”

I probably should be doing that.

Nash is killing the guitar solo, leaving small breaks for Griffin to let his voice soar. He disappears off the side of the stage, I’m not sure anyone else has noticed because they’re all too focused on Nash shredding it up there, but I noticed. My stomach flips and my legs are bouncing up and down on their own from my raging nerves. “Where’d he go, Case?”

The spotlight flicks on right beside me causing me to whirl around in my seat to find Griffin Miller standing in the aisle right behind me. He reaches out for my hand and motions to Carter who bolts around me and is already lifted onto Griffin’s shoulders before I can even get out of my seat. It’s like my knees are locked in place, refusing to let me stand. He grabs my hand and helps me to my feet. “Please?” He makes a grimace and nods toward the stage.

I follow him down the aisle and onto the stage, reluctantly. The crowd is still cheering, Nash kicks the sound down and falls back into the chords with Adair keeping the bass going, but slightly muted. Even Travis falls back and is simply keep the beat right now. No one is attempting to grab the focus or lead the song. This is the most confusing moment I’ve ever had on stage, and there’s been plenty of them. Griffin bends down letting Carter climb off his shoulders. “Do you remember yesterday when we were working on your bike, I asked you a very important question.”

Carter nods.

“Is your answer still yes?”

Carter nods, again.

Griffin pulls something from his back pocket and flicks the lid open in front of me. He takes my hand and looks up at me with nothing but love in his eyes… Okay, maybe a little insecurity is hiding in there.

My heart pounds against my chest. “What are you doing?” I bend down to whisper in his ear.

“Ahem,” he clears his throat in the microphone, “I’m going to need you to stand back up.”

Oh.

My.

Gawd.

My eyes finally focus on what he’s holding in this hand. The most beautiful princess cut diamond ring perched on a band carved to look like music notes, which are accented by the most beautiful pink stones I’ve ever seen.

“You are the one for me. I promise, to you—and to Carter—I will spend every day for the rest of my life growing and being the best version of myself, so that I can be the type of person who is worthy of being in your lives. London James, will you give me the honor of letting me be the one for you?”

Oh, my gawd.

Oh, my gawd…

Oh, my freaking gawd…

When my brain finally quits having a meltdown and I can think somewhat clearly, I focus on Griffin’s eyes still staring up at me.

Did I answer him?

I catch a glimpse of the crowd out of the corner of my eye. They’re all staring at me too, chanting, “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

I guess I haven’t answered him yet.

I drop to my knees right in front of him and grab his face, pulling it to mine. My lips move against his.

The crowd erupts in thunderous applause and cheers, egging him on.

He’s stunned for a split-second, until he returns the kiss with all the passion and love I felt from him last night. “Is that a yes?” he asks as he pulls back enough to study my expression.

“It’s a yes.”

The crowd yells again.

He takes the ring out of the box and slides it on my finger, tracing the music notes with his thumb before he lets my hand go. “It’s our first song together.”

Tears sting the corner of my eyes and I cover my face with both hands. It’s too much.

Griffin grabs Carter’s hand and kneels back down as he pulls something else from his back pocket and slips it onto Carter’s wrist just above his tactical gear. “This bracelet is engraved with the music from the first song your mom and I ever played together. I want you to have this so you will always remember my promise to love you and your mom every single day.

Carter studies the bracelet for a minute before smiling and nodding at Griffin. “I like it.”

Griffin’s smile widens and he pulls us both into him for a big family hug… on stage… in the middle of a show. “Are you ready to get behind the keys?” he whispers into my ear.

“What about Carter?”

Griffin nods to side stage where my parents are waiting. “They probably wouldn’t mind watching him during the show.”

“Was everyone in on this but me?”

“Pretty much, Mom,” Carter giggles and bounces over to my parents.

All right then. I take my place behind the keys. All I hear is the music and the sound of Griffin Miller’s voice.

I am definitely getting used to this.

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