CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
LONDON

Somewhere between the hotel and the bus camp, I stopped crying and let myself sink into the warmth and comfort of Griffin Miller. His arms make me feel secure, like nothing can touch me. His breath, slow and steady, in my ear lets me know I’m not alone. The soft touch of his hand as he brushes stray hair away from my tear stained face, makes me feel… loved. The scent of his cologne mixed with the raging emotions warring inside of me are more than I can take.

I trace my finger along the outline of his strong jaw, letting my thumb linger as it crosses his lips. His mouth parts, just enough. The gentle soft movement lights me up from the inside. I guide his face closer to mine.

Can he tell how much I want him?

Does he want me too?

His eyes are dark as he studies my reaction to his lips being so close to mine, I can already taste them.

Do I have to make the first move?

Is he trying to be a gentleman, or is he just not interested?

I don’t lean in, but I don’t pull away either. The tension builds to the point I feel like I’m going to explode.

His fingers twist in my hair as he pulls me closer, his lips pressing against mine. It’s a sweet kiss, almost as if he’s afraid I might break. I match the rhythm of his mouth moving against mine, tugging lightly on his lip as I pull back to look up at him.

His eyes slowly open. They’re dark and hungry.

“Stay with me tonight,” I whisper as I go to taste his lips one more time.

He nods and kisses me back, this time with more intensity. There’s desperation in every movement.

“Shit.” He pulls back and adjusts himself in the seat. I must’ve looked thoroughly confused because he chuckles and nods to the front. “I almost forgot about Vic.”

“Oops.” I giggle, burying my face in Griffin’s chest. “Sorry, Vic.”

He just holds up his phone and snickers.

“Great,” I sigh. “He’s going to think I’m just one of those girls.”

“Never,” Griffin sighs.

Griffin’s hands are shoved in his pockets as he waits for me to unlock the bus door. “Is Casey here?”

“No. She sent me a text just before we got back. She finished her assignment early and apparently Carly needed to blow off some steam.”

He rolls his eyes. “Adair is such an idiot sometimes.”

I grab his hand and lead him up the steps into the bus. “Maybe. Or maybe he’s just terrified and doesn’t know what to do about it.”

Griffin just nods and swallows hard, but he follows me into the main area. I tug on his arm wrapping it around my waist.

He doesn’t move a muscle.

Maybe he’s nervous. Afraid of looking like an… Adair.

I decide to make the move, letting my hands slide underneath the thin layer of fabric to explore the hard muscles just underneath his t-shirt. I let myself explore, keeping my eyes focused on his and trying to burn the feeling of his skin into my memory.

Finally, he pulls me into him and kisses me with a passion I’ve never felt before. His tongue parts my lips and crashes into mine. I wrap my hands around his neck. “I want you,” I say panting between kisses.

“I can’t.” He says the words without even slowing his pace.

The words shock me to my core. “Wait. What?” I put my palm against his chest and push him back.

He looks as confused as I am. “Huh?”

“Why can’t you?”

“Oh.” He tries to kiss me again, but I push him back.

“No, I need an answer.”

He shakes his head and drags a hand down the back of his neck. “London, do you remember when we met?”

“Clearly.”

“Do you remember telling me you don’t want to be that type of girl?” He emphasizes the word that.

I nod.

“I can’t just let you give yourself to me in the back of a tour bus.”

I snort. Totally the best way to kill any reminder of mood that might have been left over. “That’s not what I meant.”

“It is exactly what you meant.”

I scoff. Sure. I’m not that type of girl, meaning I’m not the type of girl who gets Griffin Miller.

“I want you. Desperately. But I’m not going to let you do something with me that you’ll regret later.”

Right.

“Please, understand. I just want to make sure I don’t do anything that would leave you with regrets, and I don’t want you to feel like I’m pushing you into a life you said very clearly you did not want.”

“You’re not pushing me into anything.”

He lets out a deep breath. “But it feels like I am.”

“Fine.” I tap the button on the coffee maker and wait for the caffeine to hit my soul. “I get it.”

He stands behind me and wraps me up in his arms kissing the top of my head. Great, another friend zone kiss. “I’d still like to stay, if you’ll let me.”

“Sure.” I really don’t want to be alone, but I’m not so sure I want his company right now either. I have enough voices in my life telling me I’m not good enough. The last thing I need to do is add one more voice to the mix, especially not Griffin Miller’s.

---

Knock, knock.

I rub my eyes and stretch my neck to work out the stabbing pain.

“Woke up with a kink, huh?” Griffin’s voice makes me jump. I forgot he stayed last night. After the embarrassment of being turned down when I was basically throwing myself at him, I just let myself pass out. I didn’t feel like staying up and making idle chitchat with someone who clearly is just trying to be kind and doesn’t have any real feelings for me.

“Yeah, I must’ve slept wrong.” He passes me a cup of hot coffee. “I added vanilla almond milk. I hope I didn’t add too much.”

Knock, knock.

“Who is it?” I yell.

“Your mother.”

“Crap!” I mumble under my breath as I bolt to the bathroom. “Coming!”

Griffin fights back a smile as I try to make myself look like I’ve been up for hours. Even though absolutely nothing happened last night, actually less than nothing. We’re in the basement of nothingness now. It’s still weird having your parents catch you waking up with a man in your tour bus. None of that sounds normal now that I think about. Whatever. I splash water on my face and try to shake off the sleepy haze seeping out of my pores.

“Do you mind if I…” He nods toward the door.

I shake my head and slam the door to the bathroom. I can’t look at him today. I’m already fighting back the onslaught of tears and a nearly endless stream of obscenities I’d like to yell at him.

Let it go.

This is a job.

That’s all it is.

A job.

I take a deep breath and exit the bathroom less than thrilled with having to put on a happy face for theatrics.

“I was just stopping by with coffees, it’s become a ritual by now,” Griffin explains. “I had to take a guess at what you’d like, so I got you vanilla almond like your daughter loves but there’s some other options in the bag if that’s what you prefer.”

“Oh, what a sweet young man.” My mom’s smile lights up her face as she rummages through the bag of creamers. “Is he always this thoughtful?” She asks glancing up at me.

I can feel the grimace creeping across my face, which I try to shake off. “Almost always.” I shoot him a glare that I hope he understands. I don’t think he does. He’s still wearing too big a smile to know what I just told him with my eyebrows.

“Hi, Mom.” Carter wiggles between my mom and dad.

“Hey you!” I bend down to scoop him up. “Did you have fun with Grandma and Grandpa?”

He nods and takes a swig from his chocolate milk. “And Griffin got me this.”

“Isn’t that thoughtful?” I glare at Griffin over the top of Carter’s head. Looks like he might be catching on… finally.

“Can we go get donuts?” Carter asks.

An excuse to get out of here. Perfect. “You bet!”

“I’ll go with you,” Griffin offers, pushing himself up from the small sofa.

I shake my head and hold one hand up. “I got it.”

“I’d really like to—”

“I’m sure you’ve got things to do to get ready for the show tonight.”

He closes the small gap of distance between us in a single stride. “You know very well that I don’t have anything to do,” he whispers in my ear.

“Didn’t Nigel say he needed new songs?”

“We’re working on that, but I’d much rather spend the time with you and Carter.”

I purse my lips together and shake my head. “I wouldn’t want to make you do anything you may regret later.”

He lets out a groan that sounds like a growl. “London.”

“C’mon, Carter. Let’s go get those donuts.” I grab his hand and motion for my parents to follow. “See you around, Griffin.” The bus door slaps shut behind us as I tug my phone from my back pocket.

London: You up?

Casey: Yeah. Kinda. What’s up?

London: Griffin and I kissed last night.

Casey: What? Finally! Yay!

London: Then he said I’m not “that” type of girl.

Casey: Right. You told him that like 47 times the first night y’all met.

London: That’s not what he meant, Case.

Casey: Are you sure?

London: Yup.

Casey: Where are you?

London: Between Pathetic Drive and Lovesick Lane, getting donuts.

Casey: We’ll meet you there?

London: We?

Casey: I thought you and Griffin were gonna, ya know… So I stayed with Devon.

London: *sob face emoji*