CHAPTER TWELVE
AINSLEY

Patient monitors beep and the sound echoes through the corridor. It’s a sound that’s become ingrained in my mind over the years. Sometimes, I can still hear them sounding off when I’m at home. I grab the chart off the patient room I’m assigned to next and flip it open. Kyle’s at the nursing station, leaning against the other side of the plexiglass divider that’s up to keep the registrars blocked off from potential exposure. The team outside does their best to screen for potential carriers of the virus before letting them in the main emergency area, but sometimes things get missed. Before the pandemic hit, I only worked emergency when someone either didn’t show up for their shift or the emergency responders slammed us with patients after a major catastrophic event. Those scenarios didn’t happen very often, but still more than anyone would ever hope for. Since the pandemic though, I’ve been working emergency every day while handling all my regular duties on top of it.

I’m exhausted. I’m drained; but seeing Kyle is a reminder that everyone I work with is feeling the same way I do.

The exhaustion is clear on Kyle’s face. It looks like he may have just had to let a patient go. The most difficult part of this job.

We don’t have a choice, though.

We keep going.

It’s our job.

I knock twice on my patient’s door before entering the room.

“Come in,” a faint voice calls back from just the other side. I swallow the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach, reminding myself to stay focused on the patient inside and not the chaotic sequence of memories rolling through my mind right now. Breathe in. Let it out. I repeat that to myself twice, then push just hard enough to crack the door open. “Hello…” I check the chart; I remember it said the patient was experiencing severe pain in their upper left side and abdomen but missed the name because I let myself get distracted watching Kyle. “Tell me about this pain you’ve been experiencing, Mister Thomps—” I say, losing my breath halfway through as I glance up from the chart to find Stone Thompson perched on the exam bed as the door slams shut behind me. 

“I was hoping you’d be on duty, today,” he says with a smug smile plastered on his face.

I reach out, my fingers grazing against the door handle, but he’s faster than I am. He jumps off the bed and in what feels like slow motion, but must have only been a split second, he’s standing between me and my only escape from this room. “What do you want?” I try to make my voice sound as unwavering as possible. People like him respond to fear. I can’t show mine if I want to make it out of this still intact.

“Oh, Ainsley.” The way he lets my name linger on his tongue makes my skin crawl. As he takes a step forward, I take two steps back. I know his game. He’s just trying to create more space between me and the door. Unfortunately, it’s working. He reaches out and tries to grab my arm causing me to jerk backwards to avoid him touching me. “The same thing I wanted years ago,” he muses.

“Your next high?” I ask, waving the clipboard with his chart attached to it between us like I’m swatting at a fly, trying to shift him to the side enough for me to have a clear shot at the exit.

He lets out a condescending chuckle as he reaches forward, grabbing my arm pulling me closer to him. “I think you know what I’m after,” he says, his breath grazing against my ear. I shudder and shove him back.

“If you don’t leave now, I’m going to scream and at least five medics will be inside this room in less than ten seconds.”

He scoffs and takes another step towards me, attempting to close the distance I had just put between us. “You didn’t have what it took to stop me then, and you still don’t.”

I shove my hand in my pocket and hit the side button on my phone. “I could call Mari,” I say, loud enough to make sure my phone picked it up. I can feel it vibrating in my pocket, letting me know it’s ringing her line. When it stops abruptly, I know she’s picked up. “Stone, I’m going to ask you one more time. Why are you in my hospital?”

His eyes narrow as he studies me from where he’s standing. “What did you—” His gaze trails from my face to my pocket where the light from my phone’s screen is shining through the thin fabric. “You always were too smart for your own good,” he sneers, grabbing my shoulders and holding me in place. His gaze locks onto mine. “I will find out where she’s going. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way; but I will find out. You can’t keep me from her.”

“Ainsley! Security is on the way!” Mari calls out from her end of the call. The sound of her voice echoes through the room, making Stone’s eyes grow wider.

“This isn’t over,” he says, shoving me backwards as he reaches for the door and flinging it wide open. By the time I make it across the room to the now empty doorway, he’s already out of sight. The security guard unlucky enough to be on duty today is jogging down the corridor from the opposite end as the exit where Stone must’ve disappeared into the overpacked parking lot.

“Are you okay,” the guard asks when he reaches me. “I’m Levi. We got a call a patient was harassing a nurse.”

I nod once. “I’m the nurse he was harassing. Did you see the guy who just ran through here?” I ask, pointing toward the exit.

He shrugs and shakes his head no.

“Did you?” I ask Kyle, who is still leaning against the glass blockade texting on his phone. He looks up, startled. “No,” he says with a shake of his head. “Should I have?”

Mari is running down the corridor when I glance away from Kyle’s confused face. “Are you okay?” she yells, drawing everyone’s attention. “I tried to call security. Good thing he’s already here.” She jabs her thumb in Levi’s direction.

“I got the message through dispatch,” he says.

“Good,” she says, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. “Are. You. Okay?”

I nod. “I’m fine.” I wave my hand in the exit’s direction. “He got away though.”

“Do you have a description?”

“It’s Stone Thompson,” Mari informs him with a hand on her hip. “He’s been harassing her for years.”

The guard looks confused at first, then his eyes widen. “You mean the lead singer for Narcissus?”

“Uh-huh,” she groans.

“Is that true?” he asks, looking at me.

Why do I suddenly feel a panic attack coming on? “Yes.”

“Okay, well, that will make it easier and more difficult all at the same time,” he says.

“Why would that make it more difficult,” Kyle asks, craning his neck to insert himself in our conversation.

The guard gives me a sheepish smile, which I think was meant to comfort me, but all it does is reminds me how untouchable Stone is. “It’s easier because he’ll be pretty simple to pick out of a crowd. It’s more difficult because he’s—”

“Because he’s Stone Thompson,” Mari finishes his sentence for him.

He nods, sympathetically. “I’ll call the local police and start the process, but…” he throws his arms out to his sides, “once they take over it’ll tie my hands and it’ll be up to them to follow through.”

“I understand,” I sigh.

“You’ll need to give them your statement and let them know if you want to press charges,” he adds.

“She’s pressing charges,” Mari says, cutting me off. “Right?” she asks, whirling around to face me.

“Uh-huh,” I mumble, even though I’m not sure charges would do any good. He convinced the judge he was turning over a new leaf, less than a year ago, and here we are again.

Kyle’s face scrunches together. “Mari, how did you even know what was going on?”

“I was on the phone trying to break up with my boyfriend, who wasn’t taking it very well by the way, and then she called. I needed an excuse to get him off the line, so I answered and heard her in the room with Stone.”

“I’ll let you know when they get here,” the guard interrupts. “You’ll need to meet us in the security office, so they can take all the pertinent information and hopefully make a case.”

“Mm-hmm.” My phone beeps from inside my pocket, pulling me back from the pit of hellish thoughts I’ve let myself devolve into. All the images of where Lexi will end up if Stone ever finds her again flutter away. Hiding until the next time I reach the edge of my sanity. When I flick the screen the notification flashes, New message received from Nash Miller. Somehow, the rolling nausea in my stomach is replaced with butterflies and a warm, comforting feeling washes over me. It’s terrifying how much power he has over me and my emotions, but this time I’m grateful for the reprieve.

Mari’s eyebrow arches so high it’s nearly touching her hairline when I look up from my phone. “Who is that? Hmm?” she asks with a hand on her hip.

Gulp. “Nash.”

Kyle squeals from just behind me. “Oh! The mystery man?”

“He’s not a mystery man.” I mean, maybe a little.

Mari gives me a knowing smile. “I don’t think it’s as much of a mystery as she wants us to think.”

I give her a shut up now or I’ll tell him every secret you have look that only best friends can give.

It works. She nudges me in the arm as she makes her way back toward the nurses’ station, letting the subject drop. Kyle just shrugs and goes back to scrolling on his phone. Now, I have to find a way to shake off the disgusting feeling Stone left behind and pull myself together to meet Nash in a half an hour. I don’t know if I can pretend everything is all right long enough to get through an entire meal.

---

When I make my way upstairs to the cafeteria, it’s well past the normal lunch hour so it’s mostly empty; except for the hot as hell rockstar sitting in the corner trying to avoid being noticed. He looks especially good in the Road Zen ball cap he picked up from our little adventure. As soon as I make my way through the line and enter the dining area, carrying my tray with me, his eyes meet mine and a wide smile lights up his entire expression. It’s everything I can do just to remember to breathe when I’m around him. This is no exception. Breathe in. Breathe out. That’s how it works, I remind myself.

“Hey!” he says, jumping up to pull a chair out for me. It’s a sweet gesture that makes my heart skip a beat, even if it seems a little out of place inside the familiar walls of the hospital cafeteria. I can feel my cheeks warm as I try to fight against the warring feelings of embarrassment and gratitude.

“Thank you,” I tell him as I take the seat he’s offering, which is right beside him. I’m not complaining. “I’m glad you messaged me.”

“Good!” he blurts out. “I was a little nervous about messaging you at work.”

“Why?”

He scans the area around us, nodding towards the signs overhead with arrows leading to the different hospital departments. “You have a pretty important job. I didn’t want to interrupt,” he admits.

I’ve never had a man in my life acknowledge the weight of my job. “Thank you for that.”

“For?”

“For recognizing this job gets kind of crazy sometimes.”

“How could it not?”

I shrug my shoulders, suddenly aware of how silly it sounds that someone might not recognize that fact. “It’s just always been something the men in my life have swept under the rug.”

The corner of his mouth pulls up into a smirk as his eyes twinkle at the suggestion that he’s a man in my life.

“Not that I’m saying you’re… I’m just—”

His laughter echoes through the dining hall interrupting me before I can embarrass myself anymore. “I know what you meant,” he says, with a sweet comforting look in his eyes.

“Right,” I sigh, stuffing a bite in my mouth. “I’m just going to shut up now.”

“I wanted to talk to you about the idea we had to help with the hospital budget,” he says, lit up with excitement blanketing his tone.

“Yeah?” I stuff another bite in my mouth, so I don’t say something else to give myself away.

“We want to do a series of benefit concerts—”

“How are you going to do that with the current restrictions?”

He grabs his phone and spins it around on the tabletop so I can see the image pulled up on the screen. “Here.”

“The drive-in?”

“Yup,” he says matter-of-factly.

I can feel my face transform into a series of confused expressions as I process the idea. “That’s a really cool idea.”

He nods. “Carly’s assistant, Mari, is the one who had the idea for the location. It’s perfect.”

“Do you have it reserved, yet?”

He shakes his head no. “She’s working on booking the dates now. I was hoping you might talk to whoever we need to here, so we can start advertising and building a buzz about it.”

My own excitement bursts as I think about how much this man is doing to help just because I told him about the woes of my job. Everyone shares their grievances about their workplaces, but no one expects those who listen to do anything about it. It’s just to have someone to sympathize with you and hear what you’re saying for a minute. “Thank you so much,” I squeal, reaching over to wrap my arms around his neck. “This means the world to me, and I know it’s going to mean everything to my team.”

His lips brush against my forehead as he pulls himself back from my hug-attack. Did he just kiss me? No. That’s silly. It was just a coincidence caused by my overly awkward enthusiasm. “You’ve got a lot weighing on you, right now. I just wanted to help, even if it’s only a small drop in the bucket.”

“It’s so much more than that.” He has no idea how much this is going to help and how many people he’s about to make a difference for. “You’re right. There’s a lot happening right now, but this is huge.”

“A lot, huh?”

I cringe.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I told him no, the other night when he asked, which was a complete lie. If there’s anyone I want to share everything with, it’s Nash Miller. I take a deep breath and decide to trust my heart for once. “My sister is giving me emotional whiplash. The other day, she called and told me she wanted me to research reentry facilities because she didn’t trust her attorney. So, I did. Then when you took me to see her the other day, she said she didn’t want me to have anything to do with her reentry program and totally shut me out. I’m just afraid that someone’s gotten to her and she’s about to make some big mistakes that could land her right back where she is now.”

“That’s heavy,” he says, leaning back in his chair.

“Yeah,” I say, scratching the area just above my eyebrow. “It’s kind of breaking me.”

He leans forward and puts his hand on top of mine.

“It’s like no matter how hard I try, I can never make up for hurting her. Even though she’s the one who made the choice, I’m the one who put us in that position in the first place.”

“That’s just not true, Ainsley.”

Maybe it’s not. “But it feels true, you know?”

He nods.

“The patient…”

“The same one who she got mixed up with?”

I nod. “He was here today.”

“Oh, shit.”

“Yeah,” I sigh.

“Did you see him?” he asks with a sudden tension in his voice. His hand clenches tighter around mine.

I nod, slowly pulling my hand out of his tightening grip. I rub the red marks left by his fingers.

“Did he touch you?” he growls.

I don’t answer this time. I don’t know why I can’t bring myself to admit Stone’s hands were on me. It’s like I feel ashamed to have been in his presence, but the intensity rolling off Nash is overwhelming. My lungs tighten in my chest making it hard to breathe.

“Did he hurt you?” he demands.

“No,” I answer as quickly as I can, still feeling the anger rolling off him in waves. It’s overwhelming. This is why I don’t let people into my life. It’s a circus sideshow and hurts the people I care about. “He just wanted to see if he could scare me into telling him where she was going.”

He lets out a slow breath, like he’s trying to talk himself down off a ledge. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through that though.”

I shrug just as my phone beeps. Notification from Security. The cops are here, they’re ready for your statement. Grateful for a reason to retreat from the overwhelming energy coming off the man sitting right next to me, I start gathering up the contents of my lunch and placing them all back on my tray. “I have to go,” I explain. “They need my statement downstairs.”

He nods but reaches out, grabbing my hand just as I’m about to tell him goodbye. “I hoped that after things calm down, I could take you out on a real date.”

Everything inside of me is screaming yes, but I don’t want to hurt him the way I’ve hurt the other people in my life I love. I mean, the people I care about. Love’s a strong word and it’s terrifying. “I can’t,” I say, pausing.

His face transforms from a worried scowl to a smile that knocks the breath out of me. I take a few seconds to recover.

“I’m just not sure if I can be in a relationship right now, Nash.”

I watch as his face falls, carrying the weight of my words with it.

“It’s not that I wouldn’t love to be,” my voice trembles as I’m surprised by my own words. “It’s just that I’m not sure there’s enough left of me for that.”

A forced smile returns to his face. “I understand,” he says, with a slight nod. “I’ve been taking care of my brothers for over fifteen years and sometimes it feels like there aren’t enough hours in the day to take care of everything they bring to the table, let alone if I add anything else to the list.”

“Exactly,” I say with my heart ripping into two. “I don’t know that I can be a girlfriend right now. I just need a… friend.” The bile rises in the back of my throat as I listen to the lies, I’m peddling to myself and to him. It doesn’t matter how I feel, the reality is what it is. I can’t change that. He nods and runs his hand over the back of his hat, pulling it down tight.

“I get it,” he says, standing up from the table. “Good luck with the report. I hope they get him out of your hair permanently.” He takes a few steps towards the exit but stops, turning around to face me. “I’ll see you around, Ainsley.” The words sound more final than a simple See you later at the end of a lunch date. I swallow hard, knowing how badly I’ve screwed things up again.

“Goodbye, Nash.” The words feel like they’re breaking me apart from the inside out as they float out. He doesn’t turn back around as he makes his way out of the dining area, heading toward the elevators.

What the hell did I just do?

Friends?